


True Light

by lightfuryhwa



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Best Friends, College AU, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, WE LOVE YUNJOONG, YunJoong, hongjoong is good with kids, hongjoong is in college, jiyoo is so mf CUTE, jiyoo is three :'), sorta bc yunho isn't in college, this was originally written as a bts fic way back when but i switched it to ateez oops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-09-27 10:46:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20406445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightfuryhwa/pseuds/lightfuryhwa
Summary: Hongjoong and Yunho, once reunited, will conquer everything life throws at them together, along with their little sidekick and biggest fan, Jiyoo.Hongjoong opens his home to Yunho, the Yunho who was once his best friend. Yunho, who he spent just about every waking moment of his school years with. Jeong Yunho, the boy he'd been hopelessly in love with before he'd left him behind, who's now the man with a daughter Hongjoong can't help but adore. Things are a lot different from how'd they'd been in high school, but Hongjoong and Yunho have each other again, and Yunho slowly starts to feel like everything is going to be okay.





	1. I've Missed You

**Author's Note:**

> yes, this was originally a bts fic that i changed around a bit to be ateez instead. it's nothing against bts! i still love them of course, but as time has gone on, i found myself interested in other groups not necessarily more, but i've invested into them a bit more. for the past year (can't believe it's been that long omg) i've fallen in love with the members of ateez, and while i stopped the jikook fic, i still love this trope. so!!! i decided to come back to it and change it around a bit. i couldn't get dad!yunho out of my head i'm SORRY. 
> 
> also; if you happen to see bts' names in this, it's because i missed one and failed to change it to either yunho or hongjoong. hopefully that won't happen. 
> 
> i'm really excited, and the good news is, because this was once an already written fic, the first nine chapters are already written! they'll be up pretty close to each other, so look forward to that, and enjoy dad!yunho and good with kids!joong :)

Hongjoong took short strides through the grocery store, in no particular rush to get home and do nothing but watch TV. With his budget as a 3rd year college student, he didn’t get many chances to come to stock his fridge, but he saved some and here he is. He scanned the signs above the aisles, telling him what he’d find on the shelves, contemplating what he needed. He pushed his shopping cart along, mind wandering nowhere in particular, Big Bang singing in his headphones.

Looking down the aisle that held the cereal, Hongjoong saw a little girl wiping her eyes and sniffling, soft whimpers coming from her mouth. He stopped dead in his tracks, running over, ripping out his earbuds, and kneeling so he was eye level with the girl.

“Hi, sweetie! What’s wrong?” he asked her with a soft, careful voice, stuffing his phone and earbuds into his pocket. Hongjoong always really loved kids, and couldn’t wait until he met the perfect guy to raise a family. He didn’t suspect it would happen anytime soon, him being broke and in college and all. The small girl in a frilly dress just sniffled again, putting her hands over her eyes. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” Hongjoong tried to soothe her, putting his hands over the girl’s arms comfortingly, rubbing his thumbs back and forth so she’d pull them away from her face.

The girl brought her hands away from her face and looked Hongjoong in the eyes for just a few seconds, and Hongjoong swore he saw the stars in the little girl’s eyes. “Did you lose somebody, honey?” Hongjoong tried not to pry the girl, but he could tell she was afraid.

“Daddy.. I lost Daddy,” the girl finally opened up. Hongjoong sighed, happy that she’d finally spoken up. He stood up, holding his hand out for the girl to grab.

“Okay! That’s okay! I’m gonna help you find him, alright? You’re okay.” Hongjoong spoke in a soft, light voice to comfort the girl. He tugged lightly on the girl’s small hand to get her to follow him, taking a couple small steps, not taking his eyes off of her. She sniffled again, looking up to Hongjoong’s eyes, nodding with a small smile shining on her face. “We’re gonna find him together.”

Once they reached the end of the aisle, Hongjoong went right, stopping when the little girl stopped at the edge of the aisle. She looked up at him with worried eyes before shifting her eyes to the ground and beginning to cry softly again. “Hey, sweetheart, you’re okay,” he said kneeling next to her again.

Not taking her eyes away from the ground and taking her hand out of Hongjoong’s, the girl says, “Daddy tells me I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” and sniffles again, eyes glued to the floor tiles.  
Hongjoong sighs softly. “Of course, you’re a smart girl.” Hongjoong smiles at her when the girl lifts her eyes to look into his. He lowers his head so his face is perfectly level with the her’s. “My name is Hongjoong. What is your name, sweetheart?”

“Jiyoo,” she shows him a small smile that barely reaches her eyes.

“Well, Jiyoo, now we aren’t strangers anymore! What do you say we go and find your daddy?” Hongjoong asks her, hoping it helps comfort her at least a little bit. She laughs when they make eye contact and nods her head, wiping her eyes with the backs of her small hands.

“Okay, Honggie.” she giggles. Hongjoong laughs with her and coos at the way she pronounces his name.

“When was the last time you saw your daddy, Jiyoo?” he asks her, still smiling. With her small finger she points across the space to other aisle. He stands up slowly, holding his hand out again, smiling into the girl’s eyes when she places her hand in his again. “Alright, here we go,” he starts walking slowly.

Hongjoong walks Jiyoo in the direction she pointed, looking down every few seconds to check on her, only to find her smiling brightly up at him. Her short black hair bouncing as she walks, and her unoccupied hand swinging back and forth at her side.

When they’re only a few strides away from the aisle she pointed to, they’re almost run into by a young man with fluffy, dark brown hair, a grey sweater and tight black jeans with rips in the knees.

“Daddy!” Jiyoo yells, running forward and pulling her hand from Hongjoong’s. She collides with his stomach and the man lets out an exasperated sigh, hugging Jiyoo close to him.

“Oh my god, Jiyoo, oh my god,” he pulls her away from him, kneeling down in front of her and holding her shoulders at arm’s length. “What happened, baby? I turned around and you weren’t behind me! You worried daddy sick.” he pulls her back to his chest and closes his eyes, wrapping his arms around her small frame. “Thank you so mu-” he lifts his eyes to Hongjoong and stops his sentence.

Hongjoong is frozen in his spot, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing like he wants to say something but can’t. In front of him is Jeong Yunho, his crush throughout his middle and high school career. Jeong Yunho, his sexual awakening, making Hongjoong realize he wasn’t bisexual like Yunho, but gay. _Jeong fucking Yunho_, his best and closest friend through all of high school. He hasn’t seen him since he mourned the loss of Yunho in his life on the last day of senior year, and moved away for University. They lost communication not long after, something Hongjoong regrets every day. Though he spent most of their time together pining after Yunho, he was still his best friend.

“Hong...joong?” Yunho stutters, shocked. “Oh my god,” he steps around Jiyoo and catches Hongjoong by surprise when he pulls him in for a hug. He suddenly realizes how much he missed Yunho’s touch, and in a passing thought realizes he smells the same. Hongjoong wraps his arms around Yunho without a word, the right ones not coming to mind. “I’ve missed you so much, Joong, oh my god.” Yunho sounds vaguely sounds like he’s getting choked up and Hongjoong’s heart lurches at the nickname. It was always his favorite when Yunho called him Joong.

“Yunho..” is all Hongjoong can say, his arms still wrapped around him. He looks down to see Jiyoo looking up at them with a puzzled expression. They separate and Yunho just stares into his eyes. Hongjoong feels the thousands of words he’s wanted to say to Yunho in the past few years surface all at once, yet he can’t think of a single correct word to say.

“Hongjoong, it’s been so long..” Yunho says with tears in his eyes, making Hongjoong’s well up too.

“How are..why are you..what are you doing here?” is all Hongjoong can finally manage to let spill.

“Oh god, it’s such a long story. I knew you were here, I just haven’t had any way to contact you. I’ve been trying, but I couldn’t find anything.” Yunho says, out of breath from the rush of emotions running through him. Hongjoong never thought his lack of social media would come back to bite him in the ass like this. “I missed you.”

“I’ve missed you so much, Yunho.” Hongjoong pulls him in for another hug, not knowing how else to express everything running through his brain. He sees Jiyoo pull on the back of Yunho’s shirt and Yunho pulls away to turn to her.

“Sorry, baby. This is Hongjoong, a friend of daddy’s from a long time ago,” He smiles at her, and then at up at Hongjoong.

“I know! He helped me find you!” she laughs and smiles up at Hongjoong, who smiles right back.

“Yunho..what..what happened? You’re a father? Are you married?” Hongjoong starts, asking just a few of the increasing amount of questions flying through his brain.

“Well,” he leans in close enough for Hongjoong to feel his breath on his cheeks. “I’d really like to meet up so I can tell you everything, but long story short,” he lowers his voice even more. “Her mother and I weren’t married, she got pregnant, had Jiyoo, and died about two years ago in a car accident.”

“Oh, Yunho,” Hongjoong sighs, the weight of not having been there for Yunho weighing heavy on his heart. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you, I’m so sorry I left,” Hongjoong puts his head in his hands.

“Hey, Joong, please don’t beat yourself up. There’s no way you could’ve known! We’re okay now, Jiyoo and I. We’re actually here for good reasons! I was offered a job at the publishing company in town, so we packed up and here we are,” Yunho says to Hongjoong, flashing him the smile Hongjoong loved so much. Hongjoong remembers Yunho entering college when he was in third year of high school, Yunho being two years older than him. He must have graduated last year, Hongjoong thinks. His eyes briefly land on Jiyoo, imagining what it would be like to be a college student with a child. He tries not to let his mind wander to how hard a time Yunho must have had losing Jiyoo’s mother and having to raise her on his own.

“That’s.. a lot,” Hongjoong says and the two boys let out a small, simultaneous laugh.

“Yeah,” Yunho laughs lightly. “But we’re really okay, now. God, I can’t even tell you how happy I am to see you! I think about you all the time, I missed you so much, Joong,” Yunho smiles and his face turns a faint pink. “What’s new with you? You’re in university still, right? How’s that going? Are you seeing anyone?” Yunho doesn’t mean to let out that last question, turning red and turning his gaze to the ground. “Sorry, your turn,” he laughs nervously.

Hongjoong is so awestruck by Yunho standing in front of him that he finds it extremely difficult to put together his words. “Um,” he lets out a sharp breath, shaking his head a few times in an attempt to assist his thoughts into falling into place. “Yeah! I’m still in University, and no, I’m not seeing anyone,” he finally finds his words, smiling wide but dying on the inside because god dammit, Jeong fucking Yunho is in front of him again. His eyes shift from Yunho to Jiyoo, smiling at her. He kneels down to her, face to face. “And you, miss Jiyoo, were very brave.” he says to her, pinching her cheek as she laughs and blushes.

Yunho is frozen, watching Hongjoong interact with Jiyoo so sweetly, it’s like spring and summer in a pair of humans.

Yunho is snapped from his thoughts as Hongjoong stands to his feet in front of him. “Thank you so much for helping her, oh my god. I was scared to death,” Yunho smiles at Hongjoong. “You’re really good with kids, Joong. Thank you for being so sweet with her.”

“It’s nothing, really. She’s such a sweet girl. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that she’s yours. She looks like you, she’s got your mochi cheeks,” Hongjoong laughs, pinching Yunho’s cheek just like he had with Jiyoo’s.

“Hey!” Yunho and Jiyoo say at the same time, making Yunho break out in giggles, the force of them throwing him into Hongjoong’s chest. Hongjoong wraps his arms around Yunho, laughing and thanking whatever force allowed their friendship to not be tainted by time. “Meanie,” Yunho says, face still buried in Hongjoong chest. He pulls away and doesn’t say anything, just smiles between Hongjoong and Jiyoo, happiness radiating off of him.

“You haven’t changed a bit, Yun-ah,” Hongjoong smiles brightly at him.

“You either, Joong,” Yunho laughs, lightly slapping Hongjoong’s bicep.

“I’ve just got a few more things I have to get,” Yunho says, pointing to where he had abandoned his shopping cart in his frenzy to find Jiyoo. “You’re more than welcome to join us.” Yunho smiles, looking down at Jiyoo, then back up at Hongjoong.

“Please, Joongie!” Jiyoo chimes in below them, laughing. Hongjoong’s heart swells impossibly more at Jiyoo latching onto the nickname just like her father.

“Somebody likes you,” Yunho winks and Hongjoong laughs at him.

“Well,” he says, raising one eyebrow and putting a finger on his chin, seeing Jiyoo watch him in anticipation, Yunho looking back and forth between the two. “I’d love to,” he laughs when Jiyoo’s face lights up and Yunho shakes his head at Hongjoong’s foolishness.

They walk around the store for about twenty more minutes, Hongjoong and Yunho barely able to get conversation in with Jiyoo drilling Hongjoong with every youthful question that comes to her head.

“Where do you live, Hongjoongie?” she smiles up at him.

“Right down the street, and you and your daddy can visit just about any time you’d like. How’s that sound?” he says leaning down, then looking at Yunho.

“Yes! Hear that daddy? We can visit Joongie every day!” she jumps up and down, tugging on Yunho’s arm.

“Oh no, you’ve started something now,” Yunho laughs, setting a hand on Hongjoong’s shoulder. “You better stay true to your word, Joong. She has a tendency to hold grudges.” Yunho says, mirth bouncing off of his every word.

“The door’s always open to the both of you! Come hang out whenever! I’ve got lots of board games and movies, honey, we can have a slumber party!” Hongjoong is telling Jiyoo and Yunho, hoping they hear just how much he means it.

“You’re silly, Joongie” Jiyoo is laughing her bouncy, high pitched laugh at Hongjoong. Him and Yunho are looking at each other, amusement and unspoken words dancing between their eyes.

“Well,” Hongjoong takes a playful bow to Jiyoo, making her laugh and reach up to ruffle his hair. “Until then, I must depart with the both of you, princess.” he takes one of Jiyoo’s hands in his and kisses her knuckles lightly. He stands up straight and looks at Yunho, who is smiling wide, eyes crescent shaped and smile sparkling. “I’ve got some assignments to work on and food melting here,” he laughs pointing to the frozen items he’d picked up before he found Jiyoo.

“It’s alright, Joong,” Yunho giggles.

“Okay, would you like to get coffee tomorrow afternoon? I know you’re new to town now, I can show this incredible cafe that I love, I think you’d love it too,” Hongjoong wonders aloud. “I don’t have class tomorrow, so I’m free whenever you are.”

“That’s actually perfect, I don’t start my job for a few days so I’m totally open! How about 1:30?” Yunho asks, smiling wide at the thought of being able to sit and just talk to Hongjoong.

“Perfect! I can’t wait! Bye, sweetheart!” Hongjoong gives a small wave to Jiyoo, who runs up and hugs Hongjoong’s leg. He laughs and kneels down to fully wrap his arms around her small body.

“Bye, Hongjoongie. Can you stay with us? You make daddy happy,” she whispers in Hongjoong’s ear. He looks up at Yunho who is smiling down at the two of them, oblivious to what Jiyoo is saying to him.

“I’ll try my best, honey.” Hongjoong says quiet enough for only Jiyoo to hear.

“Bye, Yun-ah,” Hongjoong says as he’s letting Jiyoo go and standing up. He pulls Yunho in for a big hug, tucking his chin into the side of Yunho’s neck when he wraps his arms around him as well. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hongjoong smiles at Yunho while pulling away. Yunho just nods, fond smile shining.

Hongjoong walks away smiling, beyond excited and the slightest bit nervous for his meeting with Yunho.

“He’s so nice daddy, I like him!” Jiyoo smiles up at Yunho, who’s fond smile hasn’t faded, now directed at his daughter. He begins to be thankful for everything that’s happened to him to lead him to this point. For the first time in a very long time, Yunho feels like everything’s going to be okay for him and Jiyoo.

“Me too, baby.” Yunho sighs.


	2. Coffee, Good for the Soul

It was seven in the fucking morning. Hongjoong’s body wouldn’t let him sleep, he was feeling too many emotions about what was going to happen with Yunho this afternoon. He couldn’t place it, though. Which emotion had taken reign and decided it wasn’t going to let him sleep, and if he was being honest, he couldn’t place exactly what emotions were rushing through his veins at all.

He was so beyond excited to have Yunho back in his life. He was so happy Yunho was happy, and that life seemed to be going well for him. He was so moved with delight at how cute Jiyoo was, and how she perfectly mirrored all of the best things about Yunho. He was shocked, Yunho had lots of explaining to do about what happened in the last four years, but Hongjoong knew he had a lot, if not just as much explaining to do himself.

He wasn’t dressed, hadn’t eaten breakfast or made coffee, and didn’t even get as far as turning the TV on in his living room. The furthest he’d made it was pacing back and forth between the TV and his coffee table. He realized it was too early to begin getting ready to meet Yunho, his nerves made him anything but hungry, and he was just too jittery to sit.

He sighed, figuring maybe a walk would calm him some and clear his mind. He walked to his room, coming out less than three minutes later, wearing joggers and a random t-shirt, not caring enough to check if it was clean or dirty. He didn’t care who saw him, and it was 7:30 in the morning, who was out right now anyway? Foolish boys, awaiting a coffee date with his first love, and shaking like a school boy is who. _Can I even call it a date?_ he wondered.

He snatched his keys from where they sat on the counter, sighed and started out the door. Walking towards the door of his apartment building, he figured he’d look around near the coffee shop for things he and Yunho could do in the instance that Yunho didn’t want to just sit and talk. He even smiled when he saw a toy store he had never before paid any attention to, thinking about whether or not Yunho had seen it yet and taken Jiyoo there.

His thoughts wandered to Yunho and Jiyoo more than he was comfortable with, or that he’d like to admit. He passed a clothing store that had sweaters similar to the one Yunho had worn yesterday, and a pet store with fluffy puppies in a pen whose excited eyes and bouncing reminded him of Jiyoo.

He wondered if Yunho would bring Jiyoo along with him to their coffee not-so-date, or if maybe Yunho thought the conversation they’d need to have was too heavy for Jiyoo’s ears. Either way, he thought, he couldn’t wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yunho was up at seven in the morning as well, but for tremendously different reasons. He too, was filled with emotions he couldn’t pinpoint, but he had to push them aside for now. He was brushing his teeth, Jiyoo standing on a stool next to him doing the same. Jiyoo was pulling funny faces at Yunho in the bathroom mirror, who was laughing at her and pulling weird faces right back. Her giggles filled the small space, spreading warmth to Yunho’s heart.

Once they were finished brushing their teeth, Yunho got Jiyoo dressed in a her favorite purple pants and a shirt with flowers on it that Yunho thought reflected Jiyoo’s personification of spring perfectly. She pouted and gave Yunho her best puppy eyes when he pulled her jacket out of her suitcase.

“No, daddy! I want everyone to see the flowers on my shirt!” she tried.

“I know, my petal, but it’s starting to get chilly outside. We don’t need you catching a cold, now do we?” he said sliding her first arm through the sleeve as she pouted, but let him do it. “It’s okay though, baby, as soon as you get to daycare you can take your jacket off and everyone will see your pretty shirt. Do we have a deal?” he smiled at her, standing up straight.

“Fine.” Jiyoo said, jutting out her bottom lip and crossing her arms. “But I’m gonna put on my jacket before you pick me up because mean daddies don’t get to see pretty flowers.” she said stubbornly.

“I get to see your pretty face, though! You’re prettier than any flower out there, so I think I win.” he kissed her nose and she giggles, scrunching up her face and wiping at her nose with the sleeve of her jacket.

“You’re a silly daddy,” she laughs and jumps up on the bed, bouncing a few times before sitting patiently to wait for Yunho to put his jacket on.

“You’re a silly Jiyoo! Come on baby, lets go,” he holds his hand out for her and she hops off the bed. They walk out the door, Jiyoo’s flowery backpack bouncing, her hand never leaving Yunho’s. Yunho managed to find a cheap, yet trustworthy daycare for Jiyoo to attend during the day, conveniently located just a few minutes of walking away.

Yunho listened intently to Jiyoo telling him about her dream, holding her hand tighter each time they came to a crosswalk, knowing she was too invested in her storytelling to pay attention to where they were walking. He threw in a few _‘your stuffies did what?’_ and some _'__oh no he didn’t’_‘, so Jiyoo would know he was listening, and to make her laugh that beautiful laugh Yunho adored so much.

They reached the door of the daycare, Yunho kneeling down to give Jiyoo a big hug, her squeezing her arms around his neck. “Goodbye, baby. Learn something today, I’ve been itching for some cool new facts,” he smiled at her, his face level with her’s.

“Okay! Someday, I’ll make you a book of all the fun things I learn at daycare, and you can read it as my bedtime story so neither of us ever forget! Bye daddy,” she says, turning around to run towards the door.

“Bye, baby!” Yunho yelled after her, shaking his head and laughing as he turned to head back in the direction they’d come in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had come time for Hongjoong to begin getting ready to meet Yunho, and he'd showered, but he had been standing in front of his closet for so long that his hair was now almost completely dry. Nothing in his closet was good enough to meet Yunho in, and no amount of walking or steadying his breath was enough to calm his nerves. He decided on light-wash and slightly ripped jeans, a light purple shirt, and white shoes.

Once Hongjoong had finished getting dressed, had applied light his normal light makeup, and had granted his empty stomach some food, he was left pacing again. Thoughts were running laps around his head, and not knowing what to do, he decided it best to speak to someone, instead of letting his thoughts drive him to madness. He brought out his phone, scrolled through and clicked on his brother’s name, Juwon.

**HJ**, sent at 12:03 pm: **Wonnie, you remember Yunho, don't you?**

**JW**, sent at 12:07 pm: **Of course, yeah. Why? Is he okay**?

**HJ**, sent at 12:07 pm: **Yeah..uh.. more than okay. I'm meeting him for lunch this afternoon.. He's got a daughter, now! She's too cute and she's just like him**

**JW**, sent at 12:09 pm: **Wow, Joong that's crazy. Is he married now?**

**HJ**, sent at 12:09 pm: **IKR?? No, the poor girl’s mother actually passed away, they were never married. I'm super nervous about lunch with him today, Ju. I could use one of your pep talks :(**

**JW**, sent at 12:13 pm: **Joong, what do you need a pep talk for? This is Yunho! Remember when the we used to joke that the two of you were soulmates? That still stands, even now. Is he in town to stay?**

**HJ**, sent at 12:14 pm: **Yeah, he got a job here. I'm just worried, you know? Worried maybe he won't like who I've become, maybe he'll be disappointed in me. He's so grown and changed now, and what about me?**

**JW**, sent at 12:18 pm: **Hongjoong. You're one of the most responsible, respectful, and genuine people I know. I might be biased, sure, but I know everyone thinks the same of you. Yunho will be so proud of you, and you definitely shouldn't be worried about his daughter! Kids adore you. Go get em, tiger! Tell him I said hi, and give him my number. I miss the rascal and I'd love to meet his little one. Have fun today, joong**.

**HJ**, sent at 12:18 pm: **Thanks, hyung. Idk what I'd do without you, love you**.

**JW**, sent at 12:20 pm: **Of course, joongie, I love you.**

He shuts his phone off and throws it on the couch with an exaggerated sigh. Juwon’s pep talks were something that never failed to make Hongjoong feel invincible. Truly, Juwon gave Hongjoong the strength he had to pursue his dreams.

Hongjoong paced back and forth a few more times before taking a deep breath and plopping himself down on his couch, tilting his head slightly to stare at his black phone screen lying beside him. He dropped his head back, resting it on the back of the couch, letting his thoughts wander.

_Juwon was right. This is Yunho. Sure, yeah okay, you were desperately in love with him for years and he never knew, but it’s Yunho. You’ve got this. There’s no way you can fuck this up, or disappoint him. Maybe his life is in much better order than yours, he has raised a goddamn child and you’re a broke college student, but it’s fine,_ Hongjoong let his thoughts wander too far.

He stood up with a huff and looked up at the clock on his wall, 12:30 pm. It would take him around fifteen minutes to walk to the coffee shop. That’s fifteen minutes of happy songs to lift his nerves, fifteen minutes to think of all the things he _shouldn’t_ say to Yunho, and some things he should.

He snatches his keys from their place on the counter for the second time that day, stomping with hostility towards the door. Once he’s on the other side of his door he places his earbuds in his ears and presses shuffle. It’s _Bang Bang Bang_, by BigBang. A good start, he thinks, tapping the beat of the song into his thigh as he walks out the door of his building.

He walked in silence, skipping any songs with sad melodies in fear that they'd cause his confidence to falter. Music had that kind of impact on Hongjoong's mood. When he walked into the cafe, eyes immediately going to the menu out of habit, he stuck his nose in the air, breathing in the familiar scent of coffee and the less prominent smell of caramel. He smiled to himself, Yunho was going to love this place.

His thoughts were cut short when he looked across the cafe to see the familiar boy sitting at a table. Phone in hand and coffee in front of him, alluding to the fact that he had been there for a little while. Hongjoong took his phone out of his jean pocket, turning it on and checking the time, 12:47 pm.

Hongjoong approached the table, leaning down, his hand on the back of the chair across from Yunho.

“Yunho?” Hongjoong asked, cautious, as to not scare the boy.

Yunho jumped, squeezing the paper cup of coffee in his hands causing the lid to pop off and some of the hot liquid to spill over onto his hands.

“Fuck!” Yunho hissed. “You scared the shit out of me, Joong,” Yunho said, foul-mouthed as always. He shows Hongjoong a small, wary smile and grabs for napkins in the napkin holder on the table.

Hongjoong jumped up, pushing the chair out of his way, frantically grabbing for napkins and taking Yunho’s hand in his. “Yunho, I am so sorry! Oh god, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Does it hurt?” Hongjoong stopped, shifting his eyes to Yunho's, his small hand still wrapped around Yunho’s significantly larger one. When his eyes reach Yunho’s face, their eyes meet, a small, fond smile playing Yunho's lips.

Yunho lets out a short, nervous laugh, eyes shifting down to where Hongjoong’s small thumb rubs back and forth against the back of his hand subconsciously. Hongjoong rips his hands away, setting Yunho's free and clearing his throat. He sits down across from Yunho, eyes trained on the table, crumpling the napkins still in his hands. Yunho places his hands on Hongjoong’s, ducking his head down to urge Hongjoong to look him in the eyes again.

“Hey, Joong, it's alright! I'm not hurt,” Yunho laughs at Hongjoong and his incessant need to care for everything and everyone. “What are you doing here so early?”

Hongjoong’s head snaps up at that. “I could ask you the same, Yun-ah! Why are you here so early?”

“Well,” Yunho starts, sitting back in his chair, crossing his arms and not breaking eye contact with Hongjoong. “I didn’t have anything to do before our plans, my little bundle of energy is off learning, and I had nothing to occupy my time” he cocks an eyebrow. “Your turn,” he gestures to Hongjoong with one hand, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table.

“Well, truthfully?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Lie to me, Joong.” Yunho smirked.

“Smart ass,” Hongjoong scoffed, smiling and shaking his head. “I was nervous to come meet you.. I wasn't sure if you'd judge me for not having my life together, like you.” It's Yunho's turn to scoff at this. Hongjoong looks at him questioningly, but continues. “I'm just broke and in college, you've got a kid and a steady job. It's stupid, Yunho, I know and I know you would never judge me, I'm sorry,” he takes a breath.

“Hongjoong,” Yunho leaned forward even more. “Okay, you're right in knowing I wouldn't judge you. Not 4 years ago, not now,” he shook his head, holding eye contact with Hongjoong. “But there's some things I need you to know about me, and about my life.”

Hongjoong nodded, waiting for Yunho.

“Well,” Yunho takes a deep breath. “You know about Jiyoo’s mom, and that Jiyoo and I moved out here because of a job opportunity right?” Hongjoong nods. “There is more to the story. Um, Jiyoo's mom was extremely abusive towards Jiyoo and I, and the two of us weren't in love. We stayed together for as long as we did for Jiyoo. She threw Jiyoo to the ground one night when she was two, so I took Jiyoo and we stayed in a hotel. I drove Jiyoo to daycare in the morning and later that day, the police came to our door saying that her mother had been in a car accident.”

Hongjoong sighed and brought his hand up to Yunho's arm, rubbing up and down, not knowing what to say to make Yunho feel better. “Yunho, I-”

“It's okay, Joong. Is it okay if I just talk? I haven't been able to let my feelings out to anyone who actually cared since you left.”

That hurt. That hurt really bad.

“Of course, Yun-ah. I'm here for you, always.” Hongjoong pulled Yunho’s hands down to hold them in his, looking him in the eye.

“I hate that I didn’t cry when I found out she died. What’s wrong with me? The only reason for being sad that I could find in myself was for Jiyoo, but even then, I didn’t want her in Jiyoo’s life. Jiyoo didn’t deserve any of what happened with her mother, but she doesn’t deserve to not have a mother either, you know? Jiyoo turns 4 this year, and I’m so worried about how I’ve raised her.” Yunho stops to take a shaky breath, Hongjoong’s eyes still on him, full of concern and sadness.

“I thought about you a lot, Joong. I missed you. When I was longing for someone to be there with me, the person I had in mind was you. I wanted you there with us, instead of Jiyoo’s mom. I wanted your happy, brilliant influence on Jiyoo, not drugs and violence.” Yunho was crying now, pulling one of his hands from Hongjoong’s hold to wipe his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater.

“Hey,” Hongjoong stood up, pulling his chair so it was next to Yunho’s. Yunho turned in his seat and wrapped his arms around Hongjoong as soon as he sat, burying his face in Hongjoong’s neck. “I’m here now, I’m not going anywhere.” Hongjoong rubbed Yunho’s back. “I love you, Yunho, it’s okay. I’m here for you and Jiyoo.”

“Thank you so much, joong. Having you here really makes everything feel so much better,” Yunho pulls back, a small, thankful smile on his lips. “Do you have any idea how much Jiyoo loves you already? She has barely stopped talking about ‘handsome Joongie’. You were even in her dream.” Yunho starts laughing when he sees Hongjoong’s astonished face.

Hongjoong clutched his own shirt over his chest, “Good lord, that just might be the most precious thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Yunho lifts his eyes to Hongjoong’s and they stay there for a few moments, taking in each other’s presence. Yunho’s hand is on Hongjoong’s on the table and Hongjoong places his hand over it, sandwiching Yunho’s hands in his and squeezing slightly in an act of consolation. “Where’s the little terror anyway?”

“I don’t think you should be talking about little terrors, seeing as how you were when you were a child, you maniac,” Yunho whole heartedly laughs, making Hongjoong’s chest bloom like a flower in spring. He really sees the resemblance between the two, especially when they’re happy, and that’s when Hongjoong decides he’ll do anything he can to keep Yunho and Jiyoo happy forever. “She’s at a daycare up the street, am I not enough fun for you?” Yunho feigns hurt, wiping fake tears from his eyes.

“Shut up,” Hongjoong laughs back, swatting Yunho’s thigh lightly.

Yunho and Hongjoong stay there for hours, talking about all they got up to as children, and everything that’s happened since. They laugh, tear up, sip coffee and enjoy each other’s presence until Yunho looks at his watch.

“Shit, joong,” Yunho says, laughing about something Hongjoong had reminded him of from 7 years ago. “I don’t want to cut this short, but I’ve got to go get Jiyoo from daycare.”

“I’ll go with you!” Hongjoong pipes up. “If that’s okay with you,” he blushes.

“Uh..yeah it is.”

“Are you sure? Is something wrong?” Hongjoong looks worried again.

“Yeah it’s just that...no, never mind, it’s stupid,” Yunho swats Hongjoong’s arm, laughing fakely in an attempt to change the subject.

“Yunho.”

“Okay.. um Jiyoo and I are living in a hotel and.. I just didn’t want you to be alarmed in case you wanted to come home with us.” Yunho’s gaze is set on his twiddling fingers, avoiding Hongjoong’s eyes.

Hongjoong sighs. “Yunho, look at me.” Yunho doesn’t budge. “Yun-ah. Please. Look at me,” Hongjoong puts his finger under Yunho’s chin to turn his head towards him. “You’re staying with me until you get a place.”

“Hongjoong tha-”

“No, I’ve got a bedroom and a couch. I’ll sleep on the couch, you and Jiyoo can share my bed for a while.” Hongjoong says sternly, implying that he wouldn’t consider any answer but yes.

Yunho doesn’t say anything, just wraps his arms around Hongjoong once again. “I love you, Hongjoong.”

“I love you more, Yun-ah.”

“Jiyoo will be so excited, she’s been asking when we’d put together that slumber party at Joongie’s,” Yunho giggles, pulling away and smiling at Hongjoong.

“It’s gonna be fun! You can stay for as long as you need.” Hongjoong smiles fondly.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Joong. But,” he says, landing his hands on his thighs and straightening up. “We should probably go get Jiyoo. She gets scared that something happened to me if I’m too late. Shall we?” he stands and holds his hand out to Hongjoong, who takes it and stands with him.

“Let’s do it,” Hongjoong grabs the napkins and cups from the table, throwing them in the trash on the way out of the cafe, hand still in Yunho’s.


	3. Lean On Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm happy i could crank the first few chapters out so quickly, i hope you guys are enjoying this!! <3

Hongjoong and Yunho walked down the street, hands in jacket pockets to shield from the chilling autumn air. Hongjoong told Yunho all things he saw on the way to the cafe that reminded him of the Jeong pair. The toy store, the sweaters the stores were putting on display to prepare for the frigid winter ahead, and the pet store that made Yunho's eyes light up, him telling Hongjoong they just _had_ to take Jiyoo there.

“Hongjoong, are you sure you're okay with us staying with you? I really don't want to impose on your private life, Jiyoo and and I are really fine at the hotel. You’ve got class and everything,” Yunho trailed off, his voice full of worry.

“Yun-ah, we went over this already. I want the two of you to stay with me because not only do I miss you like crazy, but it kills me to think of the two of you in some rancid hotel. Plus, this way, you’ll be able to save up for an apartment much quicker!” Hongjoong explains excitedly.

Yunho doesn’t say anything, just stops walking and turns towards Hongjoong with the most genuine, shining smile Hongjoong thinks he’s ever seen. Yunho wraps his arms around Hongjoong’s neck, squeezing him tightly to his body, whispering, “Thank you,” in his ear. Hongjoong just smiles and rubs his back up and down with the palm of his hand.

“Don’t thank me, Yun,” Hongjoong says into Yunho’s chest. “This is gonna be fun!” he says as he pulls away and smiles up and Yunho.

Yunho just stares back at him and laughs lightly, shaking his head back and forth a few times. “We should probably hurry up, Yun-ah. Let’s go get Jiyoo.” Hongjoong starts walking again and Yunho catches up to his side quickly.

They walk in the door of the daycare and a smile immediately makes its way to Hongjoong’s face. All the laughing and smiling little kids around them has something clenching in his chest, multiplied tenfold when he meets Jiyoo’s excited eyes. She gasps.

“Joongie!” Jiyoo screams from across the room. Hongjoong crouches down and she bounds right into his open arms. “You came! It’s been so long!”

“Jiyoo, baby,” Yunho laughs, eyes crescents from smiling so widely at them. “We just saw Hongjoongie yesterday.” He leans down next to Hongjoong and Jiyoo pulls away from him, running over to wrap her arms around Yunho’s neck.

“I missed him!” she says, her arms outstretched, small palms on Yunho’s cheeks. She leans in to Yunho’s ear. “I know you missed him, too, daddy. You only smile like that when you haven’t seen me for a long time, or when you missed someone,” she whispers, not quite loud enough for Hongjoong to hear.

Yunho blushes, looking up at Hongjoong, who’s standing now, and watches him look around, waving at some little girls that smile and giggle at him. Something lurches in Yunho’s heart at the sight of how Hongjoong acts with kids.. Hongjoong can feel Yunho's eyes on him, turning to him and showing him a smile that makes Yunho feel nothing but what he can only describe as hope. They lock eyes, smiling at each other until Hongjoong's face lights up with realization, looking at Jiyoo.

“Hey, Jiyoo!” Hongjoong says excitedly, Jiyoo turning her head and running to Hongjoong. He’s knelt on one knee, lifting Jiyoo to sit on his bent leg. “What do you say about a slumber party, hm? You, me and your daddy at my house tonight?” he asks Jiyoo, watching her face light up as she turns to Yunho, who just nods with that same fond smiles he feels like he can’t get rid of. Not that he wants to, though.

“Really?” she practically shrieks. Her head snapping back and forth between Hongjoong and Yunho, youth and excitement especially explosive in her eyes.

“Well, yeah!” Yunho laughs at her. “I think it's a pretty good idea, don't you Joongie?”

“Are you kidding? I can't think of anything I'd like to do more!” Hongjoong says, tickling Jiyoo’s stomach, laughing at her high pitched squeals. Hongjoong and Yunho stand up, Hongjoong scooping Jiyoo up in his arms and handing her over to Yunho.

“We’re gonna be like a little family, daddy,” Jiyoo squeals, clapping her hands together. Yunho feels tears well in his eyes, blinking them away quickly, but he’s sure Hongjoong noticed because he smiles and runs his hand up and down Yunho’s arm.

Hongjoong smiles widely at Jiyoo, in awe at how incredible she is, despite all that she's been through. It shows in her brilliance, Hongjoong thinks, that Yunho has raised her to be a wonderful girl. “Yeah, like a family,” Hongjoong says to himself, making eye contact with Yunho and blushing after he’d realized he said that aloud.

“Shall we?” Yunho raises his eyebrows to the other two. Jiyoo nods her head quickly, looking over at Hongjoong, who winks at her and Yunho laughs.

“Let’s! After you, royal highnesses,” Hongjoong says, holding the door open and bowing as Yunho passes through with a giggling Jiyoo in his arms.

“So, Joongie, what games do you have at your house?” Jiyoo interrogates as they walk.

“Well, I’m not sure, I haven’t had someone to play them with me in so long! It’ll be a surprise for all of us,” he smiles down at Jiyoo. She’s between Yunho and Hongjoong, one of her hands in Yunho’s and the other in Hongjoong’s, swinging her arms back and forth.

“Can we have a movie night? Can we eat popcorn? Oh wait, what about ice cream?” Jiyoo says, looking hopeful between the two boys.

“Hm, well, if it’s okay with your dad,” Hongjoong looks up to Yunho, then back down to Jiyoo. “I’m thinking yes, yes and yes,” he looks back up to Yunho, whose face has fond written all over it, but Hongjoong doesn’t notice. He’s too caught up in looking at Yunho in awe, oblivious to the fact that he wears the same fond expression that Yunho does.

Jiyoo walks in silence below, looking questioningly at the two boys, her head snapping back and forth between them. “What’s so funny?” Jiyoo chimes in.

The two inhale sharply, Hongjoong turning his face away from Yunho in a nonchalant act of hiding his blush, Yunho looking down at Jiyoo. “What baby?” Yunho asks her.

“You guys were smiling so big. What’s funny?” she cocks her head to the side.

“Nothing’s funny, Hongjoongie and I are just excited for tonight. Aren't you?” Yunho saves, pinching her cheek with his free hand.

“Well, duh,” she responds, like Yunho should know how excited she is. Hongjoong and Yunho laugh simultaneously, shaking their heads.

They walk in silence for the rest of the journey towards to the hotel, except Jiyoo, who is mumbling facts she’d learned at school, excited and giggling.

“Here, Joong,” Yunho nods his head towards the hotel entrance, Hongjoong veering to the left, the other two following close behind.

“God, Yunho, I am so happy I ran into you, yesterday. This is going to be so much better for the two of you,” Hongjoong says as Yunho is pushing in the key card to their hotel room.

“You and me both,” Yunho turns to smile weakly at him, holding eye contact as he turns the knob and pushes the door open. “How do you want to do this? Do you want to walk the stuff to your place? We really don't have much right now, I threw most of our stuff away,” Yunho sighs and breaks eye contact with Hongjoong, embarrassment slowly filling him like water in a sinking ship.

“Hey,” Hongjoong walks over to Yunho, taking Jiyoo's hand on his way over. He picks Jiyoo up and sets her on the edge of the bed, gesturing Yunho to sit next to her. He kneels down so he's face to face with Jiyoo and Yunho, both wearing puzzled expressions. “I'm here now. As long as I'm here, the two of you have a roof over your head, food in your stomachs and support beyond belief,” Hongjoong exhales sharply. “I don't feel like I'm good with expressing how I feel, or using my words, but I love the both of you too much to watch you suffer. We're gonna start this journey together, okay? New chapter.” He looks Jiyoo in the eye and watches her nod.

“I love you, Joongie,” Jiyoo says, jumping down from the bed and wrapping her arms around Hongjoong's neck.

“I love you, too, sweetheart,” Hongjoong's eyes lift to meet Yunho's, who's wearing an expression Hongjoong can't quite read. Yunho mouths a _‘thank you’_ to Hongjoong, Jiyoo’s back to him while she plays with Hongjoong’s hair. Hongjoong just nods.

“Alright!” Hongjoong says loudly, letting Jiyoo go and clapping his hands together. “Sad part, over! Let's get your guys’ stuff together and go have a slumber party!” he turns dramatically toward their suitcases. Jiyoo and Yunho giggle at him in unison and Yunho takes Jiyoo’s hand to guide her to their suitcases.

“Joongie, look!” Jiyoo holds up a painting she'd made. “I painted this yesterday at school!” she runs over and hands him the water color painting.

“Jiyoo, honey, this is gorgeous! This is definitely going on the fridge at home,” he smiles, handing a blushing Jiyoo her painting. “Yun-ah, do you need any help right now?”

“Not quite yet, but maybe with carrying things? Just a backpack?” Yunho asks him. Hongjoong nods and sits on the edge of bed. “Ji, you're gonna have to pull your roller suitcase, okay baby?” he raises his eyebrows at Jiyoo.

“Okay, daddy” Jiyoo responds, running to fetch it from the corner of their hotel room. Yunho just laughs, continuing to get his things together.

“Okay! That should be all. Did your grab all of your things from the bathroom, Ji? Your toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush and everything?” Jiyoo just nods quickly in response and Yunho kisses her on the head. Hongjoong watches the two with a smile on his face, excited beyond belief to live with them, even just temporarily. “Ready when you are, Joong,” Yunho smiles at him.

“Let's do this,” Hongjoong says like an intense movie character, sending a wink Jiyoo's way. She grabs Yunho's hand, pulling him towards the door and grabs Hongjoong's hand too.

“Now we're ready!” Jiyoo says excitedly.

Hongjoong grabs a backpack, slinging it around his shoulder. Yunho and Jiyoo are both equipped with a backpack and roller suitcase, Jiyoo letting Hongjoong's hand go so she could pull her belongings along with her, in her pink, flowery suitcase.

“Isn’t my suitcase pretty, Hongjoongie? Look, my backpack and suitcase both have flowers on them!” Jiyoo looks up at Hongjoong, pointing down at her bags.

“It sure is, almost as pretty as you, Yoo-ah,” Hongjoong says to her, missing the way Yunho has to will away the tears in his eyes once more at the two interacting so sweetly.

They chit chat about everything and nothing on the fifteen minute walk to Hongjoong's apartment. Jiyoo chiming in every once in a while, but for the most part her head moves back and forth without a word, taking in the scenery of the town on the walk to Hongjoong’s.

“And here we are,” Hongjoong opens the door for the two of them, setting the backpack down on the couch and throwing his arms up to gesture at the space around them. “Please, make yourselves at home, because that's precisely what this is for the time being. Your home. The bathroom is right there,” he points down the hall. “Food’s all there, we can get some more tomorrow, and yeah! Welcome home, Jeongs!” Yunho and Jiyoo laugh at Hongjoong, setting their bags and suitcases on the ground by the couch.

They settle in, play board games, and watch movies until it's time for Jiyoo to go to bed. Hongjoong offers his bed to Jiyoo, her head falling back and forth as she's falling asleep standing up. Yunho laughs and picks her up, Hongjoong following him down the hall towards his bedroom. Jiyoo falls asleep in Yunho's arms before they even make it to Hongjoong's bed. Yunho tucks her into the covers, kissing her head and turning the lights off on his way through the door.

“She likes you so much, I really can't believe it,” Yunho says, turning his head to Hongjoong as they walk back into the living room. “She normally takes a while to warm up to someone that much. Hell, she told you she loved you today. She doesn't say that to anyone but me,” Yunho is smiling so widely Hongjoong can't see his eyes.

They sit next to each other on the couch, heads thrown back and resting on the back of the couch, turned towards each other. “Hm, maybe I just remind her of you, that could be why she warmed up to me so quickly,” Hongjoong suggests. “Or, it's just cause I'm so fucking cool,” Hongjoong winks at Yunho, who turns away from Hongjoong and bursts out laughing.

“Yeah, that's it,” Yunho says in between wheezes. Hongjoong nudges Yunho with his elbow, almost pushing him off the couch, but he catches him and pulls him up. He pulls Yunho up with so much force that their faces almost collide, but they’ve stopped, faces centimeters apart. Yunho blushes, something Hongjoong barely catches because they’re so close, and he pulls from Hongjoong’s grip on his arm. “You’re an idiot,” Yunho laughs nervously.

Hongjoong sits back on the couch, smiling with his hands resting on each of his thighs and closing his eyes. “This is going to be so great, Yunho, us living together. I can’t believe yesterday I hadn’t seen you in four years, and now you’re living with me!” he turns his head and Yunho is smiling at him with his body turned towards Hongjoong, sitting on the edge of the couch.

“Funny how fate works, Joong,” Yunho laughs lightly, landing one of his hands over Hongjoong’s that are resting on his thighs. Hongjoong just stares at Yunho’s hand on top of his without a word. “Is it okay with you if I take a shower?” Yunho asks him.

Hongjoong raises his head from the back of the couch to look Yunho in the eye. “Yun-ah, you don’t have to ask. What’s mine is yours, my shower is your shower,” he smiles lazily at him. “Go ahead.”

“Alright, be back in a flash,” Yunho says, using his hand on Hongjoong’s thigh to push himself up to stand. Hongjoong’s hand slides down to his knee where the warmth of Yunho’s hand had been, sighing and watching Yunho walk to the bathroom. Yunho turns to him before crossing the threshold into the bathroom, winking playfully.

_Fuck_, Hongjoong thinks. He’s done for.


	4. A New Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter almost made me cry writing it omg im SOFT DONT TOUCH ME

A few days go by perfectly, Yunho having made a deal with Hongjoong that Hongjoong only had to sleep on the couch every other day, Yunho and Jiyoo slept on the couch on the days in between so Hongjoong still had his bed to some extent. Jiyoo on the small sofa, perfect for her small frame, and Yunho on the larger couch.

Nothing much happens in the first few days of the three living together. Lots of Hongjoong laughing as he watches Yunho coax Jiyoo through her morning routine, and even more Yunho feeling the need to duct tape his heart together so it won’t fall apart into pieces each and _every_ time he sees Jiyoo and Hongjoong interact with each other.

Hongjoong is pouring black coffee in two ceramic mugs when Yunho emerges from the bedroom, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the backs of his hands. Hongjoong finds himself trying not to think about how cute Yunho looks with his face puffy with sleep. “Morning, Yun-ah,” Hongjoong smiles at a sleep-soft Yunho from his stance next to the sink.

Yunho pulls his hands away from his eyes, face scrunched up and eyes squinting as he adjusts to the kitchen lighting. “What are you doing up, Joong? You don’t have class today,” one eye still closed as he steps forward to grab a mug from Hongjoong’s outstretched hand.

“Well, I figured it might be nice to wake you up with a nice cup o’ Joe and my forever support! Today’s the big day! First day on the job,” Hongjoong nudges Yunho playfully, grabbing his shoulder when Yunho’s reflexes aren’t fast enough in his sleepy state, almost tipping over.

“Right,” Yunho laughs lightly. “Would you mind waking Jiyoo up for me? I’ve got to take a shower,” he sets the half empty mug on the counter and grabs a banana from the fruit bowl on the counter. It hits Yunho in a wave what he asked of Hongjoong and he backtracks quickly. “I mean, only if you want, you obviously don’t have to. Like it isn’t your responsibility, I realize it’s mine but—”

“You got it,” Hongjoong interupts him, hopping down from the stool by the counter, walking to the bedroom to wake Jiyoo. “Hey, sweetheart, good morning,” he says, rubbing her shoulder to wake her as gently as possible.

Her eyes fly open and she sits up as fast as she can, panting. “Where’s daddy? Is he okay? Where’d he go?”

“Hey, baby, it’s okay. You’re okay, your daddy is in the kitchen. Shh, calm down, you’re alright,” Hongjoong soothes her, sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing her back up and down with the palm of his hand. He feels guilt spread through his entire body, having no idea that waking Jiyoo without Yunho around would have this kind of affect on her.

Jiyoo sits in front of Hongjoong breathing heavily, eyes trained on the sheets in front of her. “I need daddy, where is he? Joongie, where is he?” she cries.

Hongjoong jumps up from the bed and calls Yunho’s name from the doorway, running back to the bed to comfort Jiyoo. Yunho comes running into the room, sitting on the bed and pulling Jiyoo into his lap. She clings to him immediately with her arms around his neck. “Jiyoo, baby, are you okay? What’s wrong? What happened?” Yunho’s speaking quickly, words filled with concern, his breath speeding up so quickly that he’s breathing almost at the same pace as Jiyoo.

“You weren’t there. You weren’t there when I woke up, daddy, I thought you left me,” she sobs into his shoulder, tightening her arms around his neck.

“Oh god, baby, I’m so sorry. Daddy wasn’t thinking. You’re okay. I’m here, I’m never leaving you. I’m here, Hongjoongie’s here, you’re okay.” Yunho is consoling her, his eyes lifting to see Hongjoong shaking, eyes wide and on the verge of tears.

“Yunho, oh god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know—I’m so sorry,” Hongjoong is babbling, raising a hand to rest on Yunho’s that’s resting on Jiyoo’s back. Hongjoong can feel Jiyoo shaking under his hand, his heart shattering.

“Hey,” Yunho takes a hand off of Jiyoo and sets it on Hongjoong shaky knee. “Hongjoong, you didn’t know. You’re okay,” Yunho nods at him, his unwavering eye contact calming Hongjoong. “It’s completely my fault. Jiyoo has this fear of waking up without me there, separation anxiety or something?” Yunho speaks much slower now, Jiyoo’s breathing slowing as well. “It developed a couple years ago,” he shifts his eyes from Hongjoong to Jiyoo’s cheek, urging her to make eye contact with him. “You’re okay Jiyoo, baby, daddy’s here.”

Hongjoong lets out a heavy breath, standing up and wiping his clammy hands on his pajama pants. “I’ll go make breakfast and give you two a minute.”

Yunho mouths a _thank you_ to Hongjoong, his hand rubbing circles into Jiyoo’s back, whispering comforts in her ear.

He stands in the silent kitchen, hands on the counter in front of him, and doesn’t move for a few minutes.

_What if I messed everything up?_

_What if Jiyoo hates me now?_

Hongjoong shakes his head and tries to force himself to stop thinking of the worst, and start thinking about he can make them both feel better when they come out of the bedroom. He smiles to himself when he thinks again of Jiyoo’s bright smile and Yunho’s infectious laugh whenever Jiyoo says something in her oh-so-Jiyoo way. The love he holds for the two of them even after just a short amount of time living together astonishes him and he feels as though he’s been knocked to the ground with the force of his feelings. He knows he doesn’t have to be afraid, though. If he ever feels like he’s in too deep, or like it’s too much, a smiling Yunho is there to heave him from the debris.

By the time Yunho and Jiyoo emerge from the bedroom smiling, Hongjoong has prepared scrambled eggs for them and is working on his own eggs. He expects to see Jiyoo dressed and ready for daycare when he turns around, but when he does, she’s still in her pajamas. He looks up at Yunho with a puzzled look, and Yunho just lifts Jiyoo to set her on a stool at the kitchen counter.

“So, Hongjoongie,” Yunho turns around to look at Hongjoong, Jiyoo sitting at the counter smiling when Hongjoong hands her a plate with scrambled eggs and chocolate Mickey Mouse pancakes. She looks up at him in shock as if to say _for me?_ and squeals when Hongjoong nods at her with a wink. “I was thinking, because we had a bit of a rough start this morning,” Yunho says, running his hand softly up and down Jiyoo’s back as she eats. “That maybe she could hang out with you today, instead of daycare? Do you have plans today?”

At that, a smile breaks across Hongjoong's face immediately. “That sounds great! We’ll have a blast, won’t we, Ji?” he says, Jiyoo nodding at him with her mouth full of pancakes, some of the chocolate chips having made their way to the sides of her mouth.

Yunho raises his eyebrows at Hongjoong as if to say _are you sure?_ and Hongjoong just nods enthusiastically. “Alright, baby, stay in here and eat with Hongjoong, and I really have to go get ready for work,” Yunho smiles fondly at the two of them, before jogging towards the bathroom.

“So, what are we gonna do today, Joongie?” Jiyoo asks Hongjoong, who is settling in the stool next to her.

“Well, I was thinking, and don’t tell your daddy, but maybe we could go to that pet store down the street and pet some puppies? How does that sound?” he says quietly, leaning to Jiyoo so Yunho can’t overhear.

Jiyoo’s face lights up immediately, and Hongjoong takes that as a good sign. “Yes!” Jiyoo screams in a whisper and starts dancing in her seat as she takes another mouthful of eggs in.

“Well, that settles it then! It’s early now though, sweetheart, so we have to wait a little while before we go,” Hongjoong says, now spooning eggs into his mouth as Jiyoo finishes her breakfast alongside him.

Hongjoong chokes on his coffee when Yunho comes out of the bedroom, hair clean, light makeup on and all black clothes. He’s wearing black dress pants, a black blazer and a plain t-shirt underneath. “Is this okay? What do you guys think?” Yunho asks, making eye contact with Hongjoong, his eyebrows raised as he shifts his body slightly to both sides to give a good view of his outfit.

“You look good! Gonna kill em all with your good looks!” Jiyoo laughs next to Hongjoong, who’s busying gawking at Yunho while recovering from his coffee shooting down the wrong pipe because _holy shit Yunho in all black should be illegal. _

“Thank you, baby,” Yunho laughs, shifting his gaze to Hongjoong’s blank stare. “Hongjoong? It doesn’t look like I’m trying too hard?”

Hongjoong clears his throat once more and pipes up, straightening his back. “What Jiyoo said,” he clears his throat again. “You look really great, Yun-ah. Knock em dead for us.”

“Will do!” He leans over and kisses Jiyoo on the head. “Joong, can I talk to you?” he asks, turning around to walk towards the door. Hongjoong hops down from his seat next to Jiyoo with a puzzled look and follows after him.

Yunho turns around to face Hongjoong once they've reached the door, looking past Hongjoong to see if Jiyoo was listening in to their conversation. Before Hongjoong can ask what’s up, Yunho says, “Are you sure you're okay with this, Joong? I don't want you to feel like my babysitter,” Yunho says, eyes searching Hongjoong's face for any signs that he doesn't want to do this.

He puts a hand on Yunho's shoulder. “Yun-ah, I'm actually really excited about this. It'll give a chance to bond, and I'd much rather do this than sit here alone all day,” he says, running his hand down to Yunho’s upper arm. “We're gonna have fun, and we'll be here when you get back,” he assures Yunho, his thumb rubbing back and forth on Yunho’s arm.

Yunho just nods, looking Hongjoong in the eye and he feels a pang in his chest when their eyes meet. “Right, okay,” he exhales, finding it hard to peel his eyes from Hongjoong’s. “Have fun, you two. Bye, baby!” Yunho says to Jiyoo, who jumps down to run at him and hug his leg. He kneels down to hug Jiyoo properly, putting his face in her neck and squeezing her close.

“Can’t—can’t breathe, daddy,” Jiyoo strains, pushing against Yunho’s chest. Yunho just giggles and releases his grip on her. Hongjoong tries not to think about the fact that Yunho's giggle rips a tear directly through his heart. 

He straightens up and Hongjoong hugs him too, catching him off guard. “Go get em, tiger,” Hongjoong says, winking at him. Yunho backs into the door, cheeks red and flustered.

“Y-yeah. You got it,” he fumbles for the doorknob against the small of his back and backs out the door with a small wave. Yunho closes the door and leans against the wall beside Hongjoong's door, letting a heavy exhale leave his lips. “Fuck,” he whispers, dropping his head. He takes a deep breath and walks towards the door of the apartment building, pushing aside his thoughts and focusing on a professional appearance.

Hongjoong and Jiyoo lounge around the apartment for a while, play a couple rounds of a board game and talk about all the miscellaneous thoughts that come to Jiyoo's head. When it reaches eleven o'clock, they make the executive decision that it's time to go look at some puppies.

They're in Hongjoong's bedroom, sifting through the drawers Hongjoong had emptied for Jiyoo's clothes, looking for something for Jiyoo to wear. “I want to wear this shirt, it's my favorite,” Jiyoo pulls out her flowery shirt, spilling clothes out of the drawer in the process.

“That shirt it is, then!” Hongjoong says, pulling out blue jeans and handing them to Jiyoo. “Go ahead and get dressed, I'll be right outside the door,” Hongjoong says, walking to the door and shutting it behind him. He waits a few minutes and when he hears nothing but silence on the other side of the door, he opens it slowly.

“Look, Joongie! I'm a princess!” Hongjoong bursts out laughing when he sees Jiyoo in, presumably, one of Yunho’s white t-shirts, the bottom hem of it resting on the carpet by her feet.

“A princess, you are! A silly one,” he tickles her stomach and picks her up off the floor. “I do apologize, princess, but this gown you have on is much too fancy for the people. We have to wear normal clothes today,” Hongjoong shrugs, his mouth pressed into a thin line. “Let’s get you dressed in your own clothes for now, we can’t have people knowing they’re in the presence of a princess, now can we? They have to earn that right, I think.”

“You’re _so_ right, Joongie.” Jiyoo wiggles out of Hongjoong’s grasp to pull the white t-shirt over her head. She’s stepping on it and it gets tangled in her arms, so Hongjoong has to kneel down to help her out of it, her clothes for the day on underneath.

Jiyoo smiles down at her flowery shirt and then up at Hongjoong, and he's reminded of the day he found her in the grocery store. This girl in front of him, this brilliantly smart and strong girl, is something he never thought would have come into his life that day. That day, seemingly ages ago but realistically less than a week ago, changed Hongjoong's life forever, and Hongjoong is completely confident in the fact that he wouldn't have it any other way. They walk to the living room hand in hand.

“Alright, your majesty,” Hongjoong says, grabbing Jiyoo’s jacket off the coat rack next to the door. “Are we ready to go pet some puppies?”

“Yep!” Jiyoo giggles as Hongjoons helps her into her jacket.

“I said,” Hongjoong throws his head back for dramatic effect. “_Are you ready to pet some puppies?_” he yells with exuberance.

“Yes!” Jiyoo yells back just as fervently, giggling as Hongjoong turns around quickly and swiftly, walking towards the door of the apartment.

“Shall we?” Hongjoong opens the door and bows to Jiyoo.

“Yes!” Jiyoo takes Hongjoong's hand, pulling on it impatiently as he locks the door.

They walk in relative silence all the way to the pet store down the street from Hongjoong's apartment, save for Jiyoo spewing random thoughts that come to her head. When they reach the door, Jiyoo runs in, letting go of Hongjoong’s hand and puts her hands up against the glass of one kennel holding a small, fluffy puppy.

“Joongie! Look at this one! Aww, she’s so cute! Her name is Delilah! Oh my gosh, look at this one, Joongie!” Jiyoo runs back and forth between the kennels, each one holding a different puppy. She stops in her tracks and gasps when she sees a litter of six golden retriever puppies, confined by a circular fence.

Hongjoong scans his surroundings for an employee, “Excuse me? Do you think there’s any way we could sit in there with those puppies?” Hongjoong asks them once he’s found one.

“That’s fine,” the young woman smiles at him.

“Hey, Ji? Do you want to get in there with those puppies? I think you and the six of them would get along just fine,” Hongjoong laughs at Jiyoo’s brightening expression.

“Really Joongie?” Jiyoo yells, clapping her hands together and running up to hug Hongjoong's leg. The employee opens the gate to the playpen of puppies, the perimeter of the small fence about the same height as Jiyoo. She runs in and plops down right in the middle of the pen, arms open and welcoming all six puppies to jump all over her and shower her with love and kisses.

Hongjoong watches Jiyoo laughing and petting the puppies, all the fondness in the world shining in his eyes. He thinks back to his life just under a week ago. Dreary, repetitive, and lonely. Thinking about how his life has changed so much in the past week just about knocks the wind out of his lungs, having not let it sink in. He now has his best friend back, and an addition to his life he never knew he wanted.

He never stopped thinking about Yunho, never stopped missing him. Hongjoong wondered day in and day out if Yunho were thinking about him. He wondered what would’ve happened, had he confessed his feelings to Yunho then. Hongjoong realized their current relationship was on a fast track to being just like it had been when he’d left, close and inseparable, and he couldn’t possibly ask for anything more.

He couldn’t wait to come home to Yunho and Jiyoo and tell them about his day, to hear the things Jiyoo learned at school and what gossip Yunho had heard between his colleagues. He knew his fantasies about how life would be living with them would be short lived, he knew eventually Yunho would find an apartment, and Jiyoo would grow up fast.

He didn't care though, he didn't let himself think about it. His life since he had left for college was future, future, future. For once, Yunho and Jiyoo made him stop to live in and appreciate the moment, and wanted to hang onto this for as long as he possibly could.

“Joongie, look at this one! I think he likes me,” Jiyoo giggled, looking up at Hongjoong with the stars in her big eyes. Round eyes that reminded Hongjoong so much of Yunho.

“I think he does, too,” Hongjoong laughed heartily at Jiyoo and the puppies, probably the most precious thing he'd ever seen.

“Can we get one, Joongie? Look at cute he is!” Jiyoo showed Hongjoong her best puppy dog eyes.

“Ji, your dad would kill me, you know that. I really wish we could,” Hongjoong tilted his head and pouted back at Jiyoo. She frowned, whispering things Hongjoong couldn't hear into the puppy's ear. He sifted through thoughts of what they could do to lift her spirits about not being able to get a puppy, and when it hit him, the randomness and recklessness of his idea even catching himself a bit off guard, a huge grin broke on his face.

“I’ve got an idea, Jiyoo. Why don't you tell the cute puppies goodbye for now,” she looked up at him confused, then back down, kissing the puppy on the head.

She huffed, playing with the puppy's ear. “Where are we going?” Jiyoo asked him. She  
stands up, walking towards the edge of the playpen and lifts her arms for Hongjoong.

“Well,” he says, voice straining slightly as he lifts her over the fencing and rests her on his hip. “I was thinking, maybe we could stop for ice cream on the way home, and then the store for a few things. I’ve got something fun we can do when we get home,” he smiles at her excited expression.

“Ice cream? Really?” Jiyoo wiggles in Hongjoong’s arm with excitement, her smile lighting up her whole face.

“Well, yes, but don’t tell your daddy we had ice cream before dinner,” Hongjoong jokes, setting her on the ground and taking her hand as they walk towards the exit of the pet store.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Yunho**, sent at 2:34pm: **How’s everything going, Joong? Is Jiyoo behaving?**

**Yunho**, sent at 2:40pm: **Not gonna lie, your lack of response has me nervous. Are you guys doing okay?**

**Hongjoong**, sent at 2:42pm: **Omg, I’m sorry Yun-ah! We're having a blast, just as I promised we would. She's doing great**.

**Yunho,** sent at 2:43pm: **That's so good to hear. Did you guys eat lunch?**

**Hongjoong**, sent at 2:45pm: **Yes, DAD, we ate lunch. How’s the first day going? Any juicy colleague drama yet?**

**Yunho**, sent at 2:48pm: **It’s really good so far. I think I'm gonna like it here! My boss is super nice and understanding, my colleagues seem cool, and the job is just what I've been looking for :)**

**Hongjoong**, sent at 2:50pm: **I am so happy to hear that Yun-ah. I hope everything works out super great, but I know you can make a good situation out of just about anything. I’ll see you when you get home! Get back to work, you scoundrel.**

**Yunho**, sent at 2:53pm: **Thanks for your support, you absolute sap. I’ll be home around five, we should go out for dinner! Tell Ji I said hi, I’ll see you two later on**

**Hongjoong**, sent at 2:54pm: **We’ll be here! See you then :)**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yunho walked home from work with nothing but thoughts of Jiyoo and Hongjoong clogging and blocking any other coherent or productive thought. He thought about Jiyoo's smiling face when she'd tell him everything thing they did that day, and Hongjoong’s face as she told about it.

Walking through the door of the apartment, he had expected to see them sitting on the couch, watching a movie, but he was wrong. Instead, when he crossed the threshold he saw Jiyoo and an unfamiliar head of red hair, baking cookies. Covered in flour, the both of them turned toward Yunho, laughing.

“Daddy! You're home!” Jiyoo ran to him, and Yunho stopped her with his arm stretched out to avoid getting the flour all over his clothes. She wiggles her fingers toward him with grabby hands.

“Let me change my clothes, and I’ll be right back to help you guys,” he smiled, kissing Jiyoo on the head. He walked towards the hallway, stopping to process Hongjoong’s freshly dyed hair. “Well, this is certainly new,” he said, reaching out and twisting a red strand with his fingers above Hongjoong’s head.

Hongjoong blushes. “Uh, yeah. I’ve been wanting to dye my hair for a while now, and Jiyoo convinced me that red was the way to go,” he laughs nervously.

“I got to color Hongjoong's hair! Don't you love it, daddy?” Jiyoo runs up behind them, pulling on Yunho’s blazer.

“You did this, Ji? You did such a great job!” Yunho laughs down at her, the happiness of knowing Jiyoo likes Hongjoong as much as she does weighing like an anvil tied to his heart. So incredibly overcome with love for the both of them that he takes a deep breath, looking Hongjoong in the eye again.

“Do you really like it, Yun-ah?” Hongjoong asks him, eyes searching Yunho’s face.

“Yes, of course! I love it! Red really suits you, Joong, it looks amazing,” he reassures him, setting a hand on his bicep, truth behind his every word.

“It's strawberry, daddy,” Jiyoo giggles.

“The two of us had this argument ready,” Hongjoong laughs at Jiyoo, holding eye contact with Yunho. “She thinks it's strawberry, I think it's more raspberry. What do you think, Yun-ah? Be the deciding vote, straw or raspberry,” Hongjoong says, voice laced with mirth.

Yunho laughed at the two of them. “Hm, can I cast my own vote?” he looked down and winked at Jiyoo, then back into Hongjoong's eyes. “It reminds me more of a maraschino cherry,” Hongjoong's eyes sparkled when Yunho caught them. “But that’s just me.” Yunho smiles wide.

“You are crazy!” Jiyoo threw her hands up in the air dramatically. “_Joongie is totally a strawberry_,” she says under her breath, walking into the living room and plopping down on the couch, shaking her head.

“Well, Ji, Hongjoong, why don't we finish up these cookies, and go out to dinner?” Yunho's eyes shifted between them. They both nodded excitedly, the same energy coming from both of them despite their significant age gap. Yunho claps his hands together before he says, “Back in a jiff,” and turns to walk to the bedroom.

When Yunho returned, Hongjoong was helping Jiyoo put the cookies in the oven. He remained silent, watching the two of them with their backs to him as they work together.

_I could get used to thi_s, he thought.


	5. Birthday Girl

It was Saturday morning, and the two boys were up even earlier than normal, having a busy and important day ahead of them. It had been just over two weeks since Yunho and Jiyoo had begun staying with Hongjoong and everything was even better than the three of them could've ever imagined.

This particular morning was a bit more important than any of the day's they'd spent at Hongjoong's thus far. Today was Jiyoo's fourth birthday, a day Jiyoo hadn't stopped talking about for the past month, Yunho tells Hongjoong. Lucky for all three of them, it falls on a Saturday. They were aware that the festivities of the day weren't going to be too extravagant given that Yunho had just started a job and that Hongjoong was a broke college student, but they wanted to do what they could for Jiyoo.

They stood in the kitchen, Yunho sitting on a stool, Hongjoong standing on the other side of the counter facing him. “How about a petting zoo?” Hongjoong threw out to Yunho.

“Jiyoo is kind of a drama queen,” he laughed lightly. “I’m not sure she’d wanna get dirty on her birthday, maybe any other day.”

“Alright,”Hongjoong laughed at the image of Jiyoo screaming about dirt on her birthday outfit. “Amusement park?”

“It’s cold, Joong, and she's like zero feet tall,” Yunho said satirically.

“Right,” Hongjoong nodded, eyes trained on the counter below him. “Shopping? Little girls like shopping right?” he tries.

“That's it! We can take her shopping! You're a genius, Joong, have I ever told you that I love you?” Yunho said, reaching his hands out before him and squishing Hongjoong's cheeks.

Hongjoong blushes and lifts his eyes to Yunho's. “Yeah,” he smiles softly at Yunho's dopey face. Collecting himself and straightening up, he says, “So, is it time to wake the beast?” Hongjoong teases.

“I can’t believe she hasn't come bounding in here herself, she always wakes up at inhumane hours of the morning on her birthday,” Yunho thinks out loud.

“She's tired, I'm sure. You've both been through a lot recently,” Hongjoong puts his hand over Yunho's on the counter. “Do you want to wake her up?”

“Excited are we?” Yunho teases him. “Yeah, let's go wake her up,” he says, hopping down from the chair and grabbing Hongjoong wrist to drag him down the hall towards the bedroom. Hongjoong’s mind wanders somewhere and he shuts it down immediately.

“Well, yeah I'm excited. How could I not be?” Hongjoong whispers once they've come close to the bedroom door. “I can't wait,” he whispers to himself more than anything, blushing at the thought of Yunho hearing him unable to contain his excitement. For fuck’s sake, it’s not even _his_ birthday, and yet he’s vibrating in his skin.

Yunho approaches the bed with soft steps, Hongjoong following close behind. “Jiyoo, baby,” Yunho rubs Jiyoo's arm up and down, waking her as gently as he can. “Happy birthday, beautiful,” Yunho whispers to her when she opens her eyes and looks at him.

A smile creeps across Jiyoo's round face as soon as her eyes reach Yunho's. She sits up quickly, throwing the blanket off and wrapping her eyes around Yunho’s neck. Yunho welcomes her into his arms with an _oof_ and a surprisingly successful attempt at regaining his balance in his compromising position. “It’s my birthday!” Jiyoo shrieks, and Yunho is tempted to put his hands over his ears. Jiyoo spots Hongjoong standing behind them, her arms still around Yunho's neck, and says, “Hongjoongie, did you know it was my birthday?”

“A little birdie told me,” he nods and smiles at her. “Are you ready for today?” Hongjoong asks her, his eyebrows raised and an excited expression crossing his features.

“Yes!” Jiyoo screams, jumping off Yunho and running towards the kitchen. “Let’s go!”

Hongjoong and Yunho look at each other, shaking their heads and laughing, and follow Jiyoo into the kitchen. When they reach the kitchen, Jiyoo is jumping up and down on the couch, a huge smile adorning her face.

“Be careful, baby. Come on, get down,” Yunho says, walking up to her and holding his hand out for her to take. “What d’you say to eating breakfast, and then getting ready for the day?”

“Let's do it!” Jiyoo says excitedly.

Hongjoong says nothing, walking into the kitchen and setting the oven to the correct heat. “I was thinking cinnamon rolls, how's that sound?” he says, turning to look at Jiyoo who is now standing directly behind him.

Jiyoo hugs Hongjoong's leg, nodding and looking up at him as he watches the stars dance in her eyes. Yunho is standing in the living room beside the couch, watching the two interact with equally bright expressions. Something he'll never get tired of seeing is the looks on each of their faces when they look at one another. Jiyoo looks at Hongjoong with all the wonder in the world trapped in her eyes, and Hongjoong looks at Jiyoo like she was something he never knew he needed in his life.

Hongjoong shifts his eyes from Jiyoo to Yunho, smiling and beckoning him over with his hand. “Would you like cinnamon rolls, Yun-ah? Specially homemade,” Hongjoong says, sticking his nose proudly in the air before bursting out laughing.

“I think I would, please and thank you,” Yunho shakes his head at Hongjoong and runs a hand over Jiyoo's head. “Is there anything specific you'd like to do today, baby? Joongie and I have a couple things planned for you, but do you have any special requests?”

“I just want to be with you and Joongie today,” she says sweetly, bending her neck to look up at Yunho backwards, the back of her head resting on Yunho's lower stomach.

“I wouldn't have it any other way, sweetheart,” he beams down at her.

Watching them, Hongjoong feels something pulling at his heart and pushing tears to his eyes. He swallows the lump in his throat, confused with his own emotions, his eyes set on Yunho's face. He watches his smile grow, his eyes sparkling with adoration as he looks down at Jiyoo. Watching them feels like warm scarfs in the winter, and marshmallows in hot chocolate. Hongjoong wonders for a second if the joy he feels around these two compares to anything he's felt before.

Jiyoo was dressed in her purple nightgown, Yunho in a plain white shirt that showed off his collarbones perfectly, met with green plaid pajama pants that touch the floor by his feet. It was the most domestic thing Hongjoong had ever seen, and he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that these two wonderful people were living with him. He found himself thinking about what it would be like if Yunho and Jiyoo never moved out, and just lived with him happily ever after.

Hongjoong is ripped from his thoughts and jumps slightly when the oven beeps loudly behind him, letting him know it was preheated and ready for cinnamon rolls. He clears his throat, spinning around quickly and placing his hands on the edges of the counter in front of him. He's steadying his breathing and heart rate when he hears “Joong?” from behind him. He turns back around, meeting eyes with Yunho, feeling Jiyoo's eyes on him as well.

“Hm?” Hongjoong looks at Yunho, his eyebrows raised and chewing on his bottom lip in an act of looking nonchalant.

“I said, what do you think about that? The three of us spending today together?” Yunho looks at him expectantly. “Is that okay with you?”

“Oh!” Hongjoong straightens up. “I wouldn't miss it for the world,” he brightens up at both of them, his face mirroring the fondness in his heart, a sheet over the chaos in his mind. “Would you like to help me with these, Ji?” Hongjoong looks down at her and she nods her head enthusiastically.

“Show me how, Joongie,” she looks up at Hongjoong, eyes sparkling.

“That's no problem, I'm a pro.” Hongjoong winks, taking her hand in his and guiding her to his front, showing her the basics of what she can help with and doing the dangerous work himself.

Yunho sat at the stool he'd been sitting at before they woke Jiyoo up, watching the two bake breakfast, laughing and joking along with them. Hongjoong tickling Jiyoo when she does something silly, and Jiyoo laughing high pitched and bouncy. Hongjoong's smiling face and laugh radiated like the shining sun of summer, and Jiyoo's laugh sounded like newly bloomed flowers swaying in the warm spring air. His own spring and summer.

Jiyoo dipped her finger in the frosting, dragging it across Hongjoong's cheek, earning her a large glob on frosting on the tip of her nose that she tries to lick off with her tongue. Hongjoong and Yunho laugh hysterically at Jiyoo as she tries and fails to reach the frosting on her nose with her tongue, giving up with a smiling huff.

Yunho finds himself longing for this to last forever, a small pang of grief settling in his bones when he realizes that it will all come to an end. Eventually, Hongjoong will want his apartment back to himself, and Yunho and Jiyoo will have to move into a place of their own. He realizes separate living doesn't equal never speaking again, but he knows he's going to miss mornings with Hongjoong, sipping coffee and laughing, and the two of them singing Jiyoo to sleep each night. He sighs, resting his cheek on the heel of his hand as he watches the happy pair prepare breakfast.

Hongjoong hears his sigh, turning his head away from Jiyoo, his eyebrows raised in concern. “You okay, Yun-ah?”

Yunho straightens up immediately, taking his hand away from his face and setting it in his lap suspiciously fast, going unmissed by Hongjoong. “Yeah!” he says uncharacteristically. Clearing his throat, he tries again. “Yes,” he nods curtly. “I'm okay,” he smiles at Hongjoong, watching his eyes search Yunho's face for uncertainty. Hongjoong nods, turning back to Jiyoo frosting the cinnamon rolls.

A few moments pass, the air full of Hongjoong and Jiyoo's giggles as they finish up their job on the breakfast. “Ready!” Hongjoong says, rubbing his hands together and nudging Jiyoo with his elbow. “Well would ya look at that, Ji. I think we did a pretty fantastic job, don't you?”

Jiyoo nods quickly, smiling and shifting her eyes to Yunho. “Do you like them, daddy?” Jiyoo asks Yunho, Hongjoong shifting his body and giving Yunho a full view of the rolls on the pan.

“Well, well, well. Seems like I've got a pair of chefs on my hands!” Yunho jokes, winking at Jiyoo.

Hongjoong places two cinnamon rolls on three plates, sliding one to Yunho and one to Jiyoo, who is now perched on a stool at the counter next to Yunho. They eat in silence for the first few minutes, Yunho and Hongjoong eating slowly. When Yunho looks over at Jiyoo, she's finished both cinnamon rolls and is bouncing impatiently in her seat.

“You're done already? Someone's excited for today,” Yunho laughs airily, looking at Hongjoong doing the same.

“Yeah, c’mon daddy, I wanna go!” Jiyoo whines playfully, tugging on Yunho's arm with her small hands.

“Alright, alright,” Yunho smiled at her. “Let Joong and I finish, and we'll start washing up okay?” he raised his eyebrows expectantly at Jiyoo. “You can go watch cartoons for a minute, baby, but it really shouldn't be long.”

At that, Jiyoo hopped down from her seat next to Yunho, trotting over and plopping herself down on the couch. Yunho and Hongjoong both laughed quietly, shaking their heads in unison. They both stop short when they make eye contact, faces softening, sparkling eyes looking into shining ones. Hongjoong looks away first, but he can feel Yunho’s eyes on him for a few seconds afterwards.

“Okay, Ji, let's go wash up and get dressed,” he says, turned toward Jiyoo. Turning back to Hongjoong he says, “We’ll meet in here when we're all finished?”

“Sounds good,” Hongjoong agrees, nodding, his mouth full of the last bite of cinnamon roll. Yunho laughs. _Cute_, Yunho’s thoughts confuse him.

Yunho slides off his stool, walking over to take Jiyoo's hand and guiding them both to the bathroom. Hongjoong stays sitting in silence for a moment, thinking about everything and nothing in particular, before walking to his bedroom to get ready for the day's activities.

Thirty minutes has gone by once the three of them are standing in the living room, slipping their shoes and jackets on. Hongjoong puts on his vans quickly, clad in a white shirt with some black English writing, black jeans, and black and white shoes, pulled together and complimented by a bandana tied around his neck. He watches Yunho slip into his black sneakers, the last addition to his all black outfit of a black hoodie, black joggers and a black baseball cap with white lettering. Hongjoong only lets himself think for a second about how devastatingly_ handsome_ Yunho looks. Jiyoo keeps herself steady with a hand on Yunho's shoulder, watchful eyes staring down as Yunho ties her laces on her purple sneakers.

“We've got to teach you how to tie your shoes, little missy,” Yunho smiles, booping Jiyoo on the nose before he stands his feet.

“When we get home we can, daddy, come on! Let's go!” Jiyoo grabs Yunho's hand, and then Hongjoong's, pulling the both of them towards the door.

“Alright, alright. You called the cab, right?” Yunho looks over at Hongjoong, eyebrows raised in question.

“Sure did,” Hongjoong said, grabbing his bag and setting the strap on his shoulder with his hand that Jiyoo wasn’t holding. “Ready when you are, Ji.”

“I'm ready! Let's go!” Jiyoo yelled, pulling them with all her strength, letting go of Hongjoong's hand to turn the doorknob.

Hongjoong and Yunho looked at each other, light hearted and happy expressions on their faces, light pink dusting each of their cheeks when their eyes met. Yunho mouthed a _ready?_ at Hongjoong, to which he nodded, finding himself embarrassed at how he blushed slightly under Yunho's gaze.

They waited on the curb for only a few minutes, smiling and laughing at each other, taking in the sunlight. Yunho thought about how Hongjoong's smile somehow shone brighter and more blindingly than water reflecting the summer sun, and how when he made Jiyoo laugh, the sound was sweeter than spring air.

The cab ride to the mall was relatively silent. Jiyoo was sat on the edge of the three squished in the back seat, next to the window, watching the city pass by. Yunho had convinced himself he'd sat in the middle so Jiyoo wasn't squished, but he knew and he was pretty sure Hongjoong knew that it was so that he could sit next to him.

Hongjoong's hand was set on the seat between them, knuckles barely brushing the side of Yunho's thigh. Even as slight as the touch was, he found himself thinking about Hongjoong setting his hand on his thigh and squeezing lightly, like a gesture of _I’m here._ He nonchalantly _(not)_, shifted his thigh towards Hongjoong's fingers, covering it with the movement of his opposite leg to make it seem as though he was just getting comfortable in the cramped space. Hongjoong lifted his hand from the seat and Yunho panicked for just a second, before he rested it on top of Yunho's thigh.

His breath hitched in his throat and he craned his neck towards Hongjoong, eyes meeting his and causing the airflow in his throat to cease completely. Hongjoong raised his eyebrows at him as if to say _is this okay?_ and Yunho didn't respond with words, but laid his head on Hongjoong's shoulder. He felt Hongjoong sigh underneath him, and he closed his eyes.

Just before Yunho could've drifted off against Hongjoong, he hears Jiyoo beside him. “Daddy. How come the mall is so far away?” Jiyoo huffed, falling against Yunho's arm.

Yunho didn't lift his head from Hongjoong's shoulder, just shifted his eyes to stare at the top of Jiyoo's head, giggling softly at her adolescent impatience. “We’re going to a mall a bit farther away, baby. It's much bigger and better, don't worry. It'll be worth it, you're going to love it,” Yunho told her, lifting his arm and wrapping it around her small body.

Hongjoong looks up from Yunho's hand on his own thigh, making eye contact with the smiling taxi driver. “The three of you make a cute family,” the driver’s eyes scan over Hongjoong's face and then over Yunho and Jiyoo. He can feel a small chuckle break loose from Yunho's chest.

Hongjoong feels his chest swell with a mix of emotions. Firstly and briefly, confusion. His eyes scan down Yunho's body, to Jiyoo and back to Yunho's hand resting on his thigh. It felt so natural being so close to Yunho with Jiyoo there too, he hadn't registered what it'd look like from an outsider’s perspective.

Protectiveness. His hand squeezes Yunho's thigh lightly, his eyes moving to see Jiyoo having drifted off to sleep against Yunho. He feels a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth at the pair next to him, soft and gently breaths leaving both of their mouths.

Warmth. Family? Is that what they are? He knows they aren't, _literally._ But in the non-blood-related, there for each other through thick and thin sense of the word, he supposes they are. The warmth only spreads further when he realizes himself, nor Yunho, corrected the taxi driver. _Was there correcting to do?_ Hongjoong wonders. He supposes there’s no true definition to “family” and that perhaps yeah, they are a little family.

To name a few of the emotions fluttering like butterflies in his chest.

He feels himself blush, still involuntarily smiling, and looks down at his lap. He takes a deep breath, Yunho's head rising and falling with his shoulder.

“Thank you,” he hears Yunho's say beneath him, his small thumb rubbing gently against Hongjoong's thigh. No hesitation in his voice whatsoever. Hongjoong’s head goes into overdrive, unbelievable and unconditional love for the two of them radiating from him and he swears Yunho can hear his heart beating rapidly from his place on his shoulder.

When they reach the mall, Hongjoong pays the taxi man and opens the door. Standing from the car, he holds his hand out for Yunho, helping him out of the car and doing the same for Jiyoo. “Carry me, Hongjoongie?” Jiyoo looks up at him, extending her arms above her and making grabbing motions with her tiny fingers.

Hongjoong picks her up, turning to walk towards the doors, and not missing the punched sweet look on Yunho’s face. His crescent shaped eyes and full cheeks causing Hongjoong to blush, looking down at the concrete even though he knows Yunho can't see him from his place behind Jiyoo and him.

“Where to first, baby?” Yunho says, walking behind Hongjoong and Jiyoo, pulling funny faces and watching Jiyoo hide her laughter in Hongjoong's shoulder.

“Can we look at dresses, daddy?” Jiyoo asks Yunho, staring at him with her wide doe eyes over Hongjoong's shoulder, bouncing slightly with each of Hongjoong's steps.

“All up to you, lovey. Today is _your_ day,” Yunho smiles widely, now walking beside them and admiring Hongjoong's small smile as he looks through the windows of shops as they walk.

They walk around the mall for hours, Hongjoong and Yunho jogging to keep up with Jiyoo's quick footsteps. Yunho and Hongjoong collectively spend far too much money on Jiyoo, but neither of them regret a single thing. Silently agreeing that Jiyoo's happy squeals and huge smiles were priceless.

“I can't wait for everyone at school to see my new clothes!” Jiyoo claps her hands together, now in a different cab, same seating arrangement.

“You're gonna blow them away, kid,” Hongjoong leans forward to look past Yunho, to Jiyoo. “Gonna be a style icon,” he laughs at Jiyoo's bouncy giggles, leaning back with his head still turned, smiling eyes shifting to Yunho's gorgeous side profile. His eyes rake down Yunho's body, down his chest, past his slim waist, his arm and hand, fingers clad in beautiful rings resting beside Hongjoong's thigh and Yunho's own _ungodly_ thighs. When his eyes follow Yunho's figure back up to his eyes, Yunho's head is turned toward his, one eyebrow raised and a cocky expression adorning his face.

“You good, Joong?” Yunho asks, same cocky expression evident in his voice.

“Yeah,” he voice comes out much squeakier than he would've like, blush creeping through to his cheeks as he turns his head to stare at the seat back in front of him. Clearing his throat, he tries again. “Yes. I'm okay,” he tries, not daring to look Yunho in the eye.

The ride back home seems much shorter to Yunho, sitting in his same position of having his head on Hongjoong's shoulder for the majority of the journey. It's dark outside before they get home, having stayed at the mall until close to closing time. They pay, thank the taxi man, and exit the taxi in the same fashion they had when they'd arrived to the mall, only slightly more stumbling due to the abundance of shopping bags Jiyoo refused to carry because _isn't it my day, daddy?_

Yunho and Jiyoo wait behind Hongjoong as he unlocks both the building and the apartments doors, smiling back at them as he pushes the second door open.

“Well, my dear Jeongs,” he does a slight bow at them. “I'm going to shower and then I think it's a perfect night for a movie marathon, don’t you agree?” Hongjoong says to them, kneeling down in front of Jiyoo. “And I think it's only appropriate that you pick the movie, miss Jiyoo.” She nods excitedly, a smile shining through her eyes. He stands, winking at Yunho and turning toward the bathroom.

Yunho sighs, throwing himself on the couch and Jiyoo comes bouncing up next to him, plopping herself on the couch as well. “How was your day, Ji? Did Hongjoongie and I do okay?” Yunho asks Jiyoo, questioning eyes staring down at Jiyoo's, full of life.

“Was perfect, daddy. I love you,” Jiyoo smiles up at him, leaning forward and kissing Yunho on the cheek. Yunho laughs lightly, placing a small peck on Jiyoo's nose in return.

“I love you, too, baby.”

When Hongjoong comes out from the shower, Yunho and Jiyoo are sat in silence in the dark living room. Yunho's head is tilted back against the couch, Jiyoo's head in his lap, body curled up and emitting small snores. “Yun-ah?” Hongjoong calls out quietly. Yunho opens his eyes, torn from his thoughts by Hongjoong's voice.

“Hey, Joong,” he smiles at Hongjoong approaching them.

“Oh, I'm sorry, were you asleep?”

“No, no. You're okay. She is, though,” Yunho tilts his head toward Jiyoo, careful not to stir too much and wake her. Yunho sits up, arms wrapping around Jiyoo's small frame and lifting her.

“You can take her to my bed,” Hongjoong says, stepping out of Yunho's way.

“Alright, can I still take you up on that movie marathon offer?” Yunho asks him, a small smile dancing in his eyes that Hongjoong can see even in the dimly lit room.

Before Hongjoong can respond, a small voice shakes through the air. “N-no, daddy. I want to stay out here with you and Hongjoongie,” Jiyoo mumbles against Yunho's chest, eyes still closed.

“You can sleep, baby, it's okay. Hongjoong and I will be just fine, we’re right out here.” Yunho tries.

“I want to sleep on the couch tonight, daddy.”

Yunho sighs, turning around and walking back between the couches. Not three minutes after he sets Jiyoo down on the couch and covers her in a blanket, she’s sleeping again.

“If you still wanna watch that movie, there's a TV in my room? We could watch one in there,” Hongjoong looks at Yunho from his spot across the couch.

“Let's do it,” Yunho smiles at him through the dark room, standing up with a grunt.

Hongjoong follows behind Yunho silently, a nervous feeling he can't place stirring in his stomach. Yunho pushes the bedroom door open and pushes the button to turn on the TV. “Any preference?” Yunho turns to Hongjoong, his eyes shining and Hongjoong finds himself lost in them.

“All up to you, Yun-ah,” Hongjoong smiles back at him, throwing the comforter on his bed back on both sides. He sits with his back against the headboard, the comforter folded back against his knees, watching Yunho shift through DVDs in his small hands.

“Hmm, how about we get sappy? Love Actually?” Yunho cranes his neck towards Hongjoong, mirth evident in his voice.

“You absolute cliche,” Hongjoong laughs at him. “Let's do it.”

“Hell yes, this is why I love you Joongie,” he says and turns his head back to the DVD player. Hongjoong doesn't say anything, just blushes and looks down at his fiddling fingers.

Yunho sets the disk in the player, pushing it closed and grabbing the remote from the TV stand. When he turns, Hongjoong is looking at him with an expression he can't read, but he does notice the stars twinkling in his eyes and the blush across his cheeks like cherry blossoms in spring. “Ready?” Yunho enthuses, jumping into the bed next to Hongjoong.

“Totally,” Hongjoong says, landing his hand on Yunho's thigh next to him, before sliding it back down to the bed beside him out of embarrassment. “Press play!”

Yunho just laughs at him, picking up the remote from between them and pointing it at the TV in front of them. They don't speak during the movie, sitting in silence and enjoying each other’s company.

They've both long since moved down the bed to lay and watch the movie alongside each other. Hongjoong turns his head toward Yunho to comment on something in the movie, but when his eyes reach Yunho, he's asleep, soft breaths coming from his mouth, eyelashes fluttering. For a brief moment, Hongjoong panics, wondering if Yunho would be offended by Hongjoong letting him sleep in his bed.

Before the panic has any time to settle, Hongjoong finds himself swooning for Yunho's cute face pressed against his hand on the pillow beneath him. Hongjoong slumps lower in the bed, his head resting comfortably against his pillow, cherry red hair creating a halo around his head, his back against the mattress. He has turned his focus from the movie completely to Yunho's sleeping form. He's telling himself he's being creepy, staring at Yunho as he sleeps and that Yunho would slap him had he opened his eyes at that moment, but he can't find it in himself to care.

Yunho stirs in his sleep and Hongjoong shuts his eyes quickly, waiting for Yunho to stop, or say something, or leave. He is struck frozen in his spot when Yunho scoots closer to him, resting his head on his chest, an arm around his waist. Yunho sighs, sinking lower into Hongjoong's body. Hongjoong stares down at Yunho’s head on his chest, not quite sure what to do, or how to move.

He lowers his hand he hadn't realized was in the air to Yunho's back, feeling Yunho sigh again, nuzzling his face into Hongjoong's night shirt. After the seconds of Hongjoong not knowing what to do have passed, he wishes to be able to stay this way with Yunho forever.

He's managed to convince himself that this doesn't mean anything for them, recalling his high school days and Yunho asking for cuddles when the day had taken too much of a toll on him. He thinks about how he feels so strikingly similar to how he felt in high school. Still head over heels into Yunho, their time apart having done nothing to aid Hongjoong’s feelings.

Hongjoong turns the TV off, drifting quickly to sleep in the newfound darkness of his room to thoughts of the past and future, his arms wrapped comfortably around Yunho's larger frame. He notes for a second the irony of their positions given their size difference, but he sure as hell isn’t complaining.


	6. Like Like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are super duper appreciated, I hope you guys are enjoying the story :))

Yunho woke up disoriented, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking around him. In a moment of panic, he sat up, twisting his head around and scanning his surroundings. _Shit_, he thinks, _falling asleep in Hongjoong’s bed was not on the agenda._

His eyes fall to the bed space beside him, but instead of seeing Hongjoong like he had expected, he was surprised to see Jiyoo's sleeping form, hair sprawled out on the pillow like a halo around her head. She must've crawled in the bed with him and Hongjoong early that morning after waking up alone, he ponders. He feels a pang of guilt swipe his heart, throwing the blanket from his legs and turning his body away from Jiyoo's to crawl out of the bed.

Yunho glances at the clock reading 8:03 AM, and thinks on waking Jiyoo to be washed up and eat but ultimately decides on letting her sleep in.

Yunho opens the door with caution, cringing when the door hinges creak with protest, looking back at Jiyoo who’s still sleeping sleeping soundly. He closes the door with just as much apprehention, walking down the short hallway toward the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from one of his eyes from his sleeve covered fist. He heads toward the living room when a shifting figure catches his eye. He turns his head toward Hongjoong, watching his movements from behind him.

_Stop being a creep_, he rights himself.

Hongjoong could hear Yunho's quiet, soft footsteps behind him, turning to him and smiling warmly. He gives him a once over, almost cooing at how cute Yunho looks in his white t-shirt and grey pants just slightly too short for his long legs. _Soft_, he thinks. He realizes then, that this is his favorite Yunho. The Yunho that's all natural and sleepy, making Hongjoong feel like he could just pounce on him and shower him with kisses at any given moment.

“Well, hello, sleeping beauty,” Hongjoong stares at him warmly as he squints, trying to adjust his eyes to the bright daylight and lights of the kitchen.

Yunho feels his cheeks burn up, lowering his clothed fist from his face and smiling and laughing lightly. “Good morning, Joongie,” he watches Hongjoong approach him, smiling thoughtfully.

The closer he gets to Yunho, Hongjoong feels the ever increasing want to hug him, attach his lips to his and bask in Yunho's warmth. Instead, he slides a mug full of coffee he had made specially for him. “Any big plans today?” Hongjoong tries to play it off like their fingers brushing as he handed Yunho the mug had no effect on him.

“Just some errands I've got to run, I was going to buy some groceries too? We should make a list of things we need, I can pick them up on my way home,” Yunho says, Hongjoong is taken aback by how domestic and normal this sounds coming out of Yunho's mouth.

“Uh, yeah. Um, we can check the fridge for what we need,” Hongjoong says, twisting only his shoulders and pointing his thumb toward the refrigerator, eyes never leaving Yunho’s. “Do you want me to stay here with Jiyoo while you're gone? I don't have anywhere to be today,” Hongjoong asks him, noting the tiredness in Yunho's eyes.

“Seriously? Don't feel like you have to, Joong, I was planning on taking her with me anyway,” Yunho's nose disappears from Hongjoong's line of sight as he brings the mug to his lips, sighing and closing his eyes as the warm liquid slides down his throat.

Hongjoong tries to act like Yunho's small moan didn't make him want to devour him even more, shifting his eyes from Yunho's to the floor.

“Yeah, seriously! You know how much I love spending time with her,” Hongjoong says to him, ducking his head down to coax Yunho's eyes to his. “It's really no problem. It's not that I feel like I have to, it's that I want to, Yun-ah. I just have light schoolwork I have to do on my computer, but I can make her breakfast and we can go to the park or something today.”

Yunho lifts his eyes but not his head, staring at Hongjoong through his eyelashes. “Okay,” he nods slowly. “Okay, okay, yeah. You’re really sure?”

Hongjoong doesn't say anything, laughing shortly and turning his back to Yunho. Walking back toward the stove to prepare breakfast for him and his little makeshift family, he feels arms wrap around his waist, freezing in his tracks and seizing his breath.

He cranes his neck and Yunho is resting his forehead on his left shoulder blade, his arms wrapped around his midsection and his breathing deep. Hongjoong can feel the rise and fall of Yunho's chest against his back, turning himself around in Yunho’s grip and wrapping his arms around the taller boy.

“What's up, Yun-ah, talk to me.” Hongjoong rubs his hand softly up and down the expanse of Yunho's back. He hears nothing but Yunho drawing in a shaking breath and pressing his face deeper into Hongjoong's chest. “Hey, hey. You can trust me, you know that? What's the matter?” Hongjoong coaxed, careful in not being pushy.

Yunho takes a deep breath, drawing back from Hongjoong's chest and looking up at him with tearful eyes and pink cheeks. Hongjoong stares up at him with wide, concerned eyes and is filled with the confusing urge to surge forward and kiss all the boy’s worries away.

“Thank you,” Yunho says, keeping his eyes on Hongjoong's and tightening his grip around Hongjoong's body. “Thank you so much. Thank you for everything, thank you for being there for us, thank you for loving us and everything else,” his eyes begin to tear up again as he stuffs his face back into the space between Hongjoong’s neck and shoulder, sniffling.

Hongjoong takes a deep breath, not stopping his hand from rubbing Yunho's back. “Yun-ah, hey. Look at me?” Hongjoong craned his neck to look at Yunho and pushed his shoulder forward into Yunho's face in an effort to coax Yunho to look at him.

Yunho looks into his eyes and Hongjoong feels his heart shatter right then and there. There are so many emotions swirling around behind Yunho's eyes that Hongjoong feels overwhelmed just looking at him and can't imagine how Yunho must be feeling. A tear falls from Yunho’s eye and Hongjoong brings his hand to the side of Yunho's face, swiping the tear with his thumb. They stand there staring into each other’s eyes for a few moments, both searching the other’s face for something neither of them are sure of.

Yunho looks _scared, _it breaks Hongjoong's heart.

“I told you to stop thanking me, Yunho. This isn't some community service I'm doing, I want you here,” Hongjoong said, feeling small and powerful at the same time under Yunho's unwavering gaze.

“I know, I know, you did tell me that. It's just that I hate the feeling of relying on you for everything. I hate that Jiyoo and I have to invade your space all the time, eat your food and steal your privacy. I hate that I feel like I'm in the way of you and your life. You're a college student, you would probably be out having a good time if it weren't for Jiyoo and I being here. I'm sorry Hongjoong, I'm really trying to scrounge up the money to be able to get out of your hair.”

“Are you done?” Hongjoong says and Yunho stares at him with question marks in his eyes and a small, playful smile plays Hongjoong's lips. Yunho nods his head shortly. Hongjoong sighs, “Come here,” he unwraps his arms from Yunho's frame and grabs his wrist, leading the both of them into the living room and pulling Yunho down to sit beside him on the couch. Yunho sniffles and searches Hongjoong's face with wide, somber eyes and tear stained cheeks.

“Okay, Yun-ah. Listen to me,” Hongjoong sets a hand just above Yunho's knee, well aware of the way Yunho's thigh tenses under his fingers. “Look at me in the eyes and listen to me closely, okay?”

Yunho nods.

“You and I both know I suck at talking about myself and my feelings, right?” Hongjoong watches Yunho nod slowly again, not breaking eye contact. “Okay, well, I've never meant anything that has come out of my mouth as much as I mean it when I say I love you and Jiyoo, when I say how much I love having the two of you here. Honestly? If you two weren't here with me I would really never see anyone and it would be a constant, lonely cycle of work and school. The two of you are everything I look forward to seeing when I wake up and when I come home every day. I love going grocery shopping with you, our board game nights are the highlights of my week, and helping you take care of Jiyoo is the most meaningful thing I've ever done.”

Yunho lets out a small sob, looking down and setting his hand on Hongjoong's, taking in a breath like he was going to say something.

“No, wait, I need to get all of this out,” Hongjoong draws in a deep breath. “Growing up, you saw how complicated things could get with my family. Having you and Jiyoo around and how amazingly we get along together and how much fun we have,” Hongjoong takes a shaky breath, swallowing the lump in his throat and willing the tears from his eyes. “I can do this,” he takes another deep breath, cheeks puffing out as he exhales. “It really makes me feel like I have a real, functioning and happy family, you know? I’ve never smiled and felt this much joy this often the way I do with you guys around. I love watching the two of you laugh, I love making you laugh, and I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you and Jiyoo to have a stable living space and someone to lean on. I want you to lean on me, I want to be there for you, and if I’m being honest? I’m really not looking forward to the day you two leave, though I know it’ll happen one day I..I don’t know,” Hongjoong stutters, his throat closing up around anymore words he might’ve tried to say .

He looks down at his lap, one hand still on Yunho's thigh, another playing with the hem of his shirt. He sniffles, afraid to look into Yunho's eyes, but when he does he can't keep his tears from falling, looking away again immediately.

The two of them had yet to say something since Hongjoong's venting, Yunho just taking Hongjoong's hands in his and kissing his knuckles.

“Hongjoong please look at me,” Yunho coaxed. Hongjoong shifted his eyes to Yunho's, tears and emotion filling them to the brim. Seeing Hongjoong like this broke Yunho's heart something fierce, overwhelmed and not knowing what to do besides rub his thumbs against the backs of Hongjoong's hands.

“I know how hard that was for you, breathe babe,” Yunho consoled him, the pet name slipping from his lips before he could stop it. “It's okay, you're okay.”

Hongjoong took a deep, shaky breath, taking his hands from Yunho's and lurching himself forward to wrap his arms around him. “Thank _you_.”

Yunho returned the embrace, squeezing Hongjoong hard before pulling away and looking him in the eye. “Now that we've put everything out there, I want you to be honest with me all the time, okay?” Hongjoong nodded. “I want to you tell me when something is bothering you, whether it be me, Jiyoo, or some asshole at school.”

He nodded again. “I can do that.”

“Good, are we okay?” Yunho's eyebrows were raised in question as he stared into Hongjoong's eyes, searching them again.

“Yes, yes, of course we're okay.” Hongjoong set his arms by his sides on the couch after pulling them from where they fell in Yunho's lap once he'd pulled away.

“Okay, let's have a good day today!” Yunho's bright smile blinds Hongjoong, and he's suddenly very aware of just how powerless he has become to that squinty eyed smile, laughing in return. “The sun is shining and we're gonna get shit _done_,” Yunho teased.

“Hell yeah we are,” Hongjoong replied, pushing himself off the couch with the heels of his hands and held his hand out to Yunho. “Breakfast?”

“I could always go for some of your breakfast, what's on the menu?” Yunho took Hongjoong's hand and watched the muse dance behind Hongjoong's lashes.

“I'll search the fridge while you wake up Jiyoo? Wouldn't be breakfast without the three of us together, now would it?” Hongjoong said with his back to Yunho, but craning his neck toward him as he walked into the kitchen.

“You got it.” Yunho says to the back of Hongjoong's head, shaking his as he walked down the hallway with a huge smile plastered on his face.

He walked through the doorway of Hongjoong's bedroom, eyes settling on Jiyoo and her arms wrapped around a pink bunny stuffie. Setting his hand on Jiyoo's shoulder, he drug his hand back and forth softly along her arm and watched her eyes flutter open.

“Hey baby,” he smiled softly at her. “Wanna get up?” She shook her head and buried her nose into the pillow beneath her head.

“Hongjoong’s gonna make breakfast for us,” Yunho prodded. He could see Jiyoo open one sleepy eye, looking at him with one half of her face still pressed into the pillow. “How's that sound? Breakfast with Joongie? You get to spend today with him while I run errands. Is that okay with you?”

She sat up quickly at that. “Really?” Jiyoo stared at Yunho with her eyes wide and eyebrows raised, a sleepy smile adorning her face.

“Really, really,” he smiled at her again, watching excitement dance in her eyes as she pushed the blanket back and hopped down from the bed. He took her hand and walked through the room, and down the hallway to where Hongjoong was standing in the kitchen.

Yunho's eyes scanned the space, landing on three bowls set in a line on the counter, and then on Hongjoong sifting through the cupboard left of the microwave.

“So, what are you cookin’ up?” Yunho says from behind Hongjoong, making him jump.

“Jeez, scared me,” Hongjoong says, voice full of mirth and eyes shining with amusement. “But,” he starts, stepping toward Jiyoo and Yunho, stopping just short of a foot away. “It's a good thing you're going shopping today, Yun-ah, because we have positively no breakfast food in our kitchen.”

“Well,” Yunho giggles. “What were you conjuring up here?” he gestures to the trio of bowls on the counter behind Hongjoong.

“I was thinking cereal? I'm sorry I can't do anything more special, it's really all we have for breakfast food right now.” An embarrassed smile spreads across his face, a faint pink blush joining in.

“Hey, look at me?” Yunho waits until Hongjoong's eyes find his. “Cereal is just fine, take a break, Joong. Sit, I'll pour the cereal,” Yunho says as he steps to the side and slides behind Hongjoong to sift through the cereals himself.

Hongjoong sighs, looking down at Jiyoo, still standing in her position that had been next to Yunho. She smiles widely up at him with glossy, tired eyes and and sleep induced blushy cheeks.

“Shall we?” Hongjoong gestures to the stools by the counter with an upturned hand, his other hand reaching out for Jiyoo's hand.

She just giggles and takes his hand, the both of them walking toward the stools and Hongjoong lifting Jiyoo up to sit on one. He sits alongside her, resting his elbows on the counter.

Watching Yunho with his cheek rested on the knuckles of one hand, he sighs and feels too many emotions spread through his lungs like wildfire. Fondness, for his tiny, messed up, confusing, makeshift family. Happiness, for the gods of chance landing him in this particular life. In this kitchen, at this moment with the people he's come to love most in the world. Sadness, thinking about the day this will all come to an end, the day Yunho and Jiyoo move out. A few confusing emotions he can't place and some he is choosing to ignore make Hongjoong a jumbled mess.

“Alright, Lucky Charms for the lady,” Yunho says, pushing a bowl toward Jiyoo, careful not to let any milk spill over the edge. “Capt’n Crunch for the man of the house.” He pushes a bowl to Hongjoong. “And Lucky Charms for me, myself and I.” Turning around, Yunho opens the fridge and puts the milk back, setting the cereal boxes back in their places in the cupboard. He rounds the counter, taking the stool furthest to the right so Hongjoong is seated between the two of them.

Hongjoong takes the first bite, turning his head to smile at Yunho and then at Jiyoo with a full mouth and smiley, crescent shaped eyes. They sit and eat together, talking about their plans for the day, basking in the domesticity of the morning.

“Okay then,” Yunho takes a deep breath, setting all three bowls and all three spoons in the sink in front of him. “I'm going to shower and get ready, I've got a lot to do today.” He kisses the top of Jiyoo's head and smiles at Hongjoong, walking down the hallway toward the bathroom.

“Alright, Ji, what do you think we should do today? I've got a few ideas, but is there anything you _really_ wanna do?” Hongjoong asks her, putting emphasis on the ‘really’ with a strained voice and squeezes his eyes tight, making her giggle.

“Hmm, I don't know, Joongie. What are your ideas?” Jiyoo looks up at him with wide, round eyes and Hongjoong almost coos.

“Well,” he puts his fingers on his chin and looking up at the ceiling in a thinking gesture. “I was thinking maybe the park? Or I've got some loose change lying around, so maybe the arcade? Or we could walk to the beach and have a picnic! Your daddy has a lot to do today, so we've got quite a bit of time, princess.” He boops the tip of her button nose and she giggles, stretching her arm up to poke Hongjoong's nose right back. He scrunches his face and this only makes Jiyoo laugh harder, and Hongjoong can't help the laughs that break from his lungs. She's too precious.

“You have some good ideas!” she says, and Hongjoong is always so amazed at how mature she is for her age. He supposes trauma does that to a kid. “A picnic sounds fun, Joongie, can we do that?”

“I would love nothing more,” he hops down from the stool, bowing and holding his hand out to Jiyoo.

One hour later, both Hongjoong and Jiyoo are dressed and ready and Yunho has left the two of them for his errands.

“Are we ready, sweetheart?” Hongjoong looks down at Jiyoo, both of them standing in front of the apartment door.

“Let's go, Hongjoongie,” Jiyoo laughs, grabbing Hongjoong's wrist to pull him closer to the door.

“Oh! Don't wanna forget this!” Hongjoong turns around quickly, his wrist slipping from Jiyoo’s grip to grab the picnic basket they'd prepared together. Not before making a complete mess of the kitchen while the both of them experimented with contraptions some wouldn't even dare call a sandwich because of its contents. Of course Hongjoong told Jiyoo they'd have to clean up before they left, trying to avoid Yunho being disappointed in him.

“That would really stink to have a picnic with no picnic food,” Jiyoo says, smiling up at Hongjoong cheekily.

“You'd be right on that one, Ji,” Hongjoong laughed at her, shaking his head and taking her hand in his as they walked to the door.

The walk to the beach isn't short, but it isn't unbearable for either of them. They walk and talk about everything and nothing. The colors of the sky and ground, Jiyoo asking Hongjoong about his favorite things like animals and places. Hongjoong asking Jiyoo how she got so smart and what she likes to do at school.

One question Jiyoo asks strikes something in Hongjoong's heart, a feeling he couldn't ignore if he wanted to.

“Who do you love most most _mos_t in the world, Hongjoongie?”

“That's easy,” he says and Jiyoo drags her eyes from the people walking on the streets around them to Hongjoong. “I love you and your daddy the most in the world.”

“Really?” Jiyoo’s eyes go wide, a huge smile adorning her face, shining in her eyes. “The most most most?”

“The most times four.”

“Wow..that's a lot of mosts,” she says, looking forward and Hongjoong laughs breathily. “Well, I love you most times five Hongjoongie.” she stares back up at Hongjoong.

Hongjoong feels his face heat up, not from embarrassment, but from adoration. He squeezes Jiyoo’s hand and she goes back to her usual rambling about her dreams and things her stuffies said to her at the tea table, Hongjoong throwing in a few _oh no he did NOT’s_ so she knew he was interested.

When they arrived at the beach, Hongjoong pulled the picnic blanket from the basket, laying it down on the grass, but close to the sandy beach. Jiyoo pulled her stuffies from her backpack one by one, setting them on the blanket in a half circle beside them. She helped Hongjoong pull the food from the basket, along with the drinks they'd bottled up.

“Looks like a proper feast to me, don't you think?” Hongjoong looks at Jiyoo, who is pouring imaginary tea from an empty teapot into empty tea cups in front of her stuffies.

“I think so, Hongjoongie! Can we eat, I'm hungry,” Jiyoo asks.

“Yes we can,” he warmly smiles at her.

They eat and Jiyoo is the most silent she’d been during the entire outing so far. Hongjoong snaps a few pictures of her munching on her sandwich, a few of her ‘refilling’ her stuffies’ tea and some of her playing in the sand.

Hongjoong couldn't possibly wait for Yunho to see them.

**Hongjoong**, sent at 1:37pm;  
***attached image***  
** *attached image***  
** *attached image***  
** We’re having fun at the beach! Are your errands going okay?**

**Yunho**, sent at 1:42pm;  
**Okay I think my heart just stopped because those are just about the cutest pictures of Jiyoo I have ever seen. I’m doing okay, my errands have gone smoothly so far and I'm gonna get some groceries soon.**

**Send me some selfies of the two of you? I don't have enough pictures of my little family :)**

Hongjoong swears _his_ heart stops then as well. Yunho had called him family. Sure, he'd called Yunho and Jiyoo his family before, but hearing it come from Yunho’s mouth, or rather seeing it from Yunho's phone, makes his heart swell and his lungs stop working.

“Hey, Ji!” Hongjoong turns his head to Jiyoo playing in the sand a few meters away from him. Her head perks up and she reminds Hongjoong of a small puppy, alert but full of life and energy. “Come over here! Your daddy wants us to take a picture for him.”

She stands up and treks over to Hongjoong with sand covering her pants and the ends of her sleeves. Although they're at the beach, it was still getting chilly and they'd have to bundle up just a little to withstand the chilling Seoul air.

Plopping down on the blanket beside Hongjoong, Jiyoo is selfie ready, showing him her biggest and cheesiest smile.

“Perfect, smile just like that!” Hongjoong laughs at her, booping her nose. He holds up his phone and snaps a picture he's _sure_ Yunho will love.

**Hongjoong**, sent at 1:48pm**;**  
** So, so demanding, tsk tsk.**  
** *attached image***  
** Mhm, we know we’re cute ;)**

**Yunho**, sent at 1:50pm;  
** I think you just killed me for good Joongie**  
** The two of you are so cUTE I’M SJSKSJSKJS**

**Hongjoong**, sent at 1:51pm;  
** Doin okay over there Yun-ah?**  
** Don't die we need food at the house**  
** HAHA I’M JUST KIDDING**

**Yunho, **sent at 1:54pm:  
** You're a menace, Kim Hongjoong, did you know that?**

**Hongjoong**, sent at 1:56pm;  
** Gettin all technical on me and using commas in our texts are we?**

**Yunho**, sent at 1:57pm;  
** Do me a favor and pay attention to my daughter and not your phone, will you?**

**Hongjoong**, sent at 2:00pm;  
** Yeah yeah sure. See you at home Yun-ah.**

**Yunho**, sent at 2:03pm;  
** Sure thing Hongjoongie.**

Hongjoong giggled to himself, shaking his head and shutting off his phone. He looked up at Jiyoo chasing a butterfly just a few feet away from him, leaning back on the heels of his hands and taking a deep breath of fresh air.

The butterfly had flown just far and high enough for Jiyoo to give up with a huff, trotting over and plopping herself down on the blanket next to Hongjoong. She looked up at him, her head tilting back and forth like a puppy. Hongjoong looked down at her, smiling and pinching her cheek. “What you lookin’ at, missy?”

“You, Hongjoongie. Duh,” she put her hands up in a gesture that told Hongjoong that it was the most obvious thing in the world, _duh_.

“I see.”

“Do you like daddy?” Jiyoo asks, catching Hongjoong off guard and he finds himself tilting his head just like she had been.

“Of course I like your daddy, why are you asking sweetheart?” Hongjoong wonders aloud.

“No, no Hongjoongie! Do you _like_ like daddy?” Jiyoo doesn't take her eyes off him and Hongjoong is still just as confused.

“Explain, babe.”

“Well, when you like like someone, you want to hold their hand and kiss them and go out to dinner with them. Like in the movies! I saw you and my daddy cuddling and you _obviously_ only cuddle with someone if you like like them, otherwise it would just be weird,” she shrugs her shoulders, turning her head to look at the water in front of them.

“Weird,” Hongjoong says almost under his breath but loud enough for Jiyoo to hear because she turns her head.

“Yeah, weird,” she says and Hongjoong shakes his head slowly, baffled by Jiyoo's ability to use such childish language but still seem so beyond her years. “So do you like like daddy?”

“Um,” Hongjoong draws in a deep breath. “I don't know.”

“Come on, Joongie! You always know if you like like someone. Tell me! I'm good at keeping secrets!”

Hongjoong thinks for a few beats. “How would you feel if I said I…like liked your daddy..?”

“I would be so happy! But I _wouldn't_ tell him, promise,” she crosses her fingers, kissing them and holding them up to show her honor. “When people like each other, they get married and have babies and get puppies! We could be like a family, Hongjoongie.” Jiyoo lays down, setting her head on Hongjoong's thigh and watching the water.

He takes another deep breath, a passing thought being whether or not he'd pass out from breathing so hard.

“I think I like like your daddy.” Hongjoong feels strange saying things like this to Jiyoo, feels like he really shouldn’t.

“Really?” Jiyoo shoots up from her laid position to her knees, to look at Hongjoong with wide eyes and a huge smile.

“Really really,” he takes a deep breath and smiles back at her.

“Oh, Hongjoongie,” she hauls herself forward into Hongjoong's arms and wraps her small arms around his neck. “We're gonna be the best family ever,” she says quietly next to his ear.

Hongjoong feel his eyes well up, tears of something he can't place. Adoration, for his two people? Love? Happiness? He feels like he's in a cheesy movie he'd laugh at, but he's so happy he couldn't stop himself from wrapping his arms around Jiyoo if he wanted to. He squeezes her tight, sniffling and trying to blink away the tears away before Jiyoo can notice.

“You got that right we are, but let me handle it, okay?”

Jiyoo pulls herself from Hongjoong's arms. “Definitely.”

“What do you say we pack up and go walking around the city? We've got quite a bit of time left,” he asks her as he watches her eyes light up.

“Yes!” Jiyoo springs up, collecting her stuffies.

“Jiyoo?” Hongjoong says and sees Jiyoo whip her head around to look at him with wide, youthful eyes. “I’m feeling like some ice cream, how's that sound?”

“You have the _best_ ideas Hongjoongie!” She hurries to pick up her stuffies while Hongjoong packs the food and folds the blanket.

Jiyoo smiles up at Hongjoong when they're finished, taking his hand and dragging him out of the park toward the ice cream parlor.


	7. Empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
If you're sensitive to reading about things like panic/anxiety attacks, proceed through this chapter with caution, okay?   
Sorry about this chapter coming out later than I anticipated! I had a concert in Chicago and got busy for a sec, we back now!  
Enjoy :)

Hongjoong and Jiyoo had continued to walk the town for quite some time, eating ice cream, paying the puppies another visit, and dancing outside some department store that had been playing music. They'd arrived home just in time for dinner, Yunho lifting his head and smiling at them when they walk through the door as he's setting their dinner on three separate plates.

“There you guys are! I was worried I'd be living alone from now on,” Yunho jokes, putting his arm around Jiyoo’s shoulder as she attaches herself to the side of his leg.

“We would never leave you, daddy!” Jiyoo looks up at him, wide-eyed.

“I know baby,” he leans down to kiss her head. “Did you and Hongjoongie have fun today?” Yunho says, petting Jiyoo's head and shifting his eyes between her and Hongjoong.

“We had _so_ much fun, we did so much! We had a picnic, saw puppies, danced and ate ice cream!” Jiyoo giggles.

Yunho raises his eyebrows, looking at Hongjoong. “Ice cream, huh? Before dinner?”

“Jiyoo...you just got both of us in trouble,” Hongjoong sighs, slumping his shoulders. “Sorry Yun-ah?”

“Sorry is right,” Yunho says, turning around to fill three cups with water. “What am I gonna do with the two of you?” He shakes his head back and forth with his back to Jiyoo and Hongjoong. Mostly because he wants them to believe he's upset and not grinning like an idiot, because he just might be.

“It's okay, daddy! I still have plenty of room in my belly for dinner!” Jiyoo runs around the counter to climb onto the stool next to Hongjoong, who's seated in the middle stool.

“You better! I didn't spend time on dinner for nothing!” He turns around, setting glasses of water in front of the both of them.

“Are you mad?” Hongjoong asks, holding his breath, waiting for Yunho to respond.

Yunho sets the cup on the counter in front of Jiyoo, looking up into Hongjoong's eyes. His eyes are wide and glistening and Yunho's heart breaks. He hadn't intended to genuinely make Hongjoong feel bad. “No, Joong. I'm not mad,” he gives a small smile, placing his hand on Hongjoong's and rubbing his thumb back and forth a few times. “A little jealous maybe, but not mad. I like ice cream too, you know?” Yunho turns to grab the plates, looking over his shoulder jokingly at Hongjoong.

“Next time,” Hongjoong nods.

“You bet, next time.”

They eat and talk about their days and it's mostly Yunho and Hongjoong catching up like some married couple, Jiyoo butting in a few times to tell about her day too. They've talked for longer than any of them had realized, except for Jiyoo, whose head is resting on her forearms on the counter, bored.

“Well, I think I'm gonna hit the hay a little earlier tonight, been a long day. Today was fun, Ji,” he rubs his hand up and down her back, smiling. “Goodnight, Yun-ah,” he sets his hand on top of Yunho's thigh without thinking, rubbing his thumb back and forth, and only tearing it away quickly when he's realized what he's doing. His face and the tips of his ears turn pink and he turns away from Yunho to step down from the stool.

Hongjoong going to bed early and saying ‘it's been a long day’ hits something in Yunho. He feels a pang of some emotion he can't pin, but it isn't sitting well in his stomach and he looks down at his hands in his lap with furrowed eyebrows. His mind starts racing, guilt and sadness filling his heart before he can fully grasp why.

“Jiyoo I think it's time to go to bed too, baby,” he sighs, hopping down from the stool and lifting her up. She doesn't say anything, just rests her head on Yunho's shoulder and nods.

Yunho wraps Jiyoo in blankets on the couch, turning on the nightlight in the corner of the room and kissing her head. She's asleep before he can stand up straight. Yunho sighs, heart racing and thoughts running rampant and he feels like he's going to cry, but what's bothering him most is that he can't figure out why he feels this way.

He sighs again, his cheeks puffing out with his exhale, and walks to the door with nothing but fresh air on his empty yet chaotic mind. He turns the doorknob slowly, looking over his shoulder to Jiyoo on the couch. He shuts it just as quietly, stepping down the hallway of the building lightly in nothing but socks.

When he opens the door to the building, he inhales a deep breath, propping the door open with a rock. He sits on the top step, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, trying to collect his thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hongjoong wakes up to the sunlight peeking through around the edges of his black curtains, and a suspiciously quiet house. He doesn't hear the running of water that normally indicates Yunho and Jiyoo washing up, or the clink of dishes that means breakfast.

He sits up slowly, stretching and rubbing his eye with the knuckles of his right hand. When he stands up and walks to his bedroom door, he runs scenarios through his head of where Jiyoo and Yunho could be if they weren't in the house. Maybe they'd gone out for breakfast? Or for a morning walk?

Hongjoong walks into the kitchen and isn't surprised, only no less confused, when he's met with an empty house. He looks around the living room and leans back to see the bathroom in the hallway, just as empty. Looking down at the floor, he furrows his eyebrows and tries to think on whether or not Yunho had said he was going anywhere, and tries to push the thought his brain supplies him that says he's looking too far into this.

He knows Yunho was off work today, and it was a Sunday so that meant no school for Jiyoo or Hongjoong. Shaking his head, Hongjoong walks toward the coffee maker routinely only to be met with a full coffee pot. He grabs a mug from the windowsill in front of him, sliding the coffee pot from under the coffeemaker when a small piece of folded white paper catches his eye. Setting the pot down and picking up the paper, he studies it to see his name scrawled on the front fold in handwriting he’d know anywhere.

Unfolding it, his eyes scan the paper and his heart stops.

_ **Needed time. I’m sorry.** _

What did Yunho mean by needing time? To do what? Time away from what? Hongjoong mind is short circuiting and his heart feels like it might pound right out of his chest and land on the tile floor in front of him. He shakes his head and reads it over a few more times, wondering if he's seeing things or dreaming.

He's pacing, barefoot in the kitchen and running through any possible explanation to what Yunho meant. His mind was bouncing back and forth dizzyingly between _‘time must mean he needed a walk in town or some quality time with Jiyoo, it's not serious’ and_ _‘he's never coming back, I disappointed him and he's left me for good’_.

Hongjoong ultimately realizes that sitting and waiting to finding out what ‘time’ means is torture, and because there's really nothing he can do but wait, he finds he needs a distraction. He strides back to his bedroom, getting dressed and throwing a beanie over his hair that he can't be bothered to wash.

He grabs his keys and the note from the counter, stuffing them in his jean pocket and throws his jacket on. Hongjoong isn't entirely sure where's he's walking, no, he's entirely unsure of where he's walking. He has a hope in the bottom of his heart that he'll run into Jiyoo and Yunho on his walk, but he has enough common sense in the moment to realize how unlikely that is.

Popping his earbuds in his ears and blasting his music, he tries to distract himself from his brain running in circles around him.

Hongjoong walks around town all day. He's texted and called Yunho so many time he's sure that if someone had called and texted _him_ that many times, he would've surely blocked them by now. The sun is setting when he's walking into his fourth coffee shop of the day, not knowing what else to do but drink coffee to keep his senses alert for something he's not sure of, and to keep walking.

Hongjoong tries to be thankful for this. He's walked to corners of the city he'd never bothered to explore and, much to his agony, he sees plenty of things he'd like to do with Yunho and Jiyoo, given that they come back to him.

When Hongjoong comes home, the house remains empty. He's begun to wonder less about where they've gone, and more about what he did wrong.

He cleans the house because maybe he wasn't tidy enough and Yunho had become annoyed. He makes everything smell good in hopes that maybe it would lure them back. Not knowing what else he could possibly do to make them come back, he sits on the floor in front of the front door.

Hongjoong puts his head in his hands and tries to stop the tears. He lets his head tilt back and hit the door, looking up and willing the tears away from his eyes, taking deep, shaky breaths. His heart is racing and breaking, the cracks deepening with every beat. He knows he only stands a chance at feeling better if one particular person was there with him.

Trying to keep his breathing steady, he brings his legs to his chest and sets his forehead on his knees.

_What did I do wrong? Why did they leave me?_

Hongjoong wakes up to his tailbone hurting and a pitch black house. His back is still pressed against the door, and he can see the stove clock from where he's sitting on the ground.

12:06 AM.

He takes a deep breath and stands, wincing when he can feel the dried tears on his cheeks. He'd cried himself to sleep on the floor. If Hongjoong hadn't felt pathetic and weak before, he couldn’t hide from that now.

He doesn't want to go to bed. He doesn't want to sit alone in his room knowing that Jiyoo and Yunho weren't out here. Hongjoong sits on the couch and takes the deepest breath he can manage. He doesn't turn on the TV, he doesn't turn on any lights, but just sits on his couch with nothing but his unsteady heartbeat and uneven breathing.

Sitting in the dark living room causes his body to eventually give up on him, falling against the throw pillow beside him and falling asleep to thoughts about where Yunho and Jiyoo could be, and if they were okay.

It was a restless sleep. He tried to convince himself that Jiyoo and Yunho were asleep in his room, curled up in blankets, but his heart knew they weren't. It only served as a reminded that they actually weren’t, and it hurt.

It was a Monday morning. Yunho and Hongjoong were supposed to be dancing around each other while they got ready for school and work, it had become routine, the way they moved. Hongjoong wasn't going to class today. He couldn't. Anything he'd hear in class would've gone in one ear and right out the other, given that he'd actually hear anything.

Yunho had work today and Jiyoo had school. He wasn't going to go tracking them down, wasn't going to show up at Yunho's work and beg for forgiveness like some stalker. He thought about calling Yunho's office and he wondered if he'd pick up.

Hongjoong stood up, much too fast though because his head spun and he landed right back on the couch again. He hadn't had enough sleep, but he knew he wasn't going to get any more. He stood up slowly a second time, walking into the kitchen and filling a glass with water.

Leaning against the counter in front of the sink, Hongjoong weighed his options. He could sit around and wait, call Yunho again and mope around the house. He could go grocery shopping with the very small amount of money he had, he needed to eat. The only thing he'd ingested since Yunho left being coffee. He could go for a walk, but quickly decided differently, realizing that if he did that he'd only be reminded of all the things he'd seen and done with his little makeshift family.

Hongjoong willed himself to shower and get dressed. He put on clean clothes, deodorant and light cologne. Fixing his appearance and cleaning up made him feel slightly better. Physically more so than emotionally or mentally.

He grabbed his keys, grabbed his jacket and started off to the nearest coffee shop in town for another coffee he didn't need and couldn't really afford.

Walking in with his eyes on the ground he stepped up to the counter, only looking up when he heard a faint, “Hi, Hongjoong.”

“Good morning, Roa.” Hongjoong gave her a small smile. Roa was a sweet girl, someone Hongjoong had become familiar with by being served coffee by her and seeing her around campus at school. She was always nice to Hongjoong and he thought her and her girlfriend made a great couple.

“Are you doing okay? You look really tired,” Roa asked him before backtracking. “I mean, ugh, I didn't mean it like that. Do you want some coffee?” She ended her rambling with a laugh.

“Yeah,” he let out a small laugh in return. “Just what I usually get is fine,” Hongjoong says, reaching into his back pocket to get out his wallet. “How are things with Rena?”

Roa’s face instantly brightens as she takes the money from Hongjoong. “It's going amazing,” she smiles down at the cash register with a faint blush on her cheeks. “We're leaving for a weekend together in a few days, so I'm really excited for that. Anyone new in the ever climactic story that is Hongjoong's love life?”

“Nope,” Hongjoong says, pushing down the feelings threatening to bubble in his chest. “I'm really happen for you and Rena, though. The two of you are cute.” He takes the change from Roa, and thanks her.

“Thank you, Hongjoong. I'll see you around?” She smiles at him and Hongjoong takes note at how much better talking to Roa for a few minutes has made him feel. The last couple of days had been hell to him, and to smile and laugh with someone has brightened his mood, even if just a smidgen.

Waiting for the few minutes it took for his drink to be made had Hongjoong's mind racing again, before he walked up to the counter to grab the steaming cup with one last smile at Roa. 

Even though all he wanted was Yunho, it felt great to smile and talk to someone for real. He wanted the warm feeling of knowing he was near him, the tightening of his heart every time he heard Jiyoo laugh and the overall feeling of love. It had only been less than two days and he felt pathetic for his dependance on Yunho, but complete cut off from him made his heart heavy and confused.

Hongjoong sat down at a table in the coffee shop, thinking about what he should do. He had tried calling Yunho once this morning, but when he was met with Yunho's voicemail, he had decided it was a lost cause. He had ceased his texts to him as well, he didn't want to annoy Yunho any further. What else was there to do?

Hongjoong had so many questions. Were Jiyoo and Yunho safe? Where were they staying? How close were they?

He'd come to a point where if he just sat around and waited any longer he might just combust. He couldn't breathe, his heart hurt and his brain felt like it had daggers in it from thinking too hard.

Sighing, Hongjoong stood up, throwing his cup in the trash next to his table and walked toward the door. He had been at the cafe for hours, losing track of time as he stared out the window watching people and fidgeting with his fingers. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew he needed air and a walk. He had nothing else to do. The temperature had raised a few degrees since he'd arrived at the coffee shop, it being mid afternoon now.

Ultimately, Hongjoong decided to just walk home. His wallet got emptier and emptier the more he walked around and his body ached. He felt so lost that it physically hurt.

He walked in silence, music he wasn't paying attention to blaring in his ears. Hongjoong’s eyes were wandering as he passed many building and businesses he wasn't familiar with, one being a hotel he'd seen countless times but had never been in.

Something caught his eye, glinting in the sunlight was a car that looked exactly like Yunho's. His heart sank, and though Yunho had a pretty common looking car, nothing really special setting it apart from others, Hongjoong needed to be sure. He needed the piece of mind.

He veered to the right and through the parking lot of the hotel, walking through the front doors. He could hear his heartbeat loud and quick in his ears, and his lungs felt too small, but he kept pushing forward. He'd regret it if he didn't make sure.

Hongjoong was met with a woman wearing a huge, fake, customer-service-type smile. “Hi! Welcome! What can I do for you?” the woman chimed.

“Um,” Hongjoong walked up to the large desk and set his shaking hands on the shiny, polished wood. “I just have a question.”

“Sure!” the woman said much too excitedly and Hongjoong jumped. “What is it?” She put her elbows on the desk in front of her, setting her chin on her closed fists.

“Well, I'm supposed to meet someone here,” Hongjoong lied. “I was looking for a Park Yunho?”

The woman drew her eyes away from Hongjoong to the screen of the monitor in front of her. “I can surely look for you!” Her fingers moved quickly and swiftly across the keyboard, her red acrylic fingernails making loud clicking noises each time her fingers made contact with the keys.

She chewed her gum loudly and Hongjoong winced, his body going into sensory overload. He shook his head and balled his fists, trying to calm his heart and pull his lungs back from the edge of a panic attack.

“You've come to right place!” Hongjoong was pulled from his panic and his rapidly beating heart felt like it stopped completely.

“S-sorry, what?” Hongjoong stutter.

_Please say what I think you're saying. Please_, Hongjoong thought.

“There is a Park Yunho on floor three. He is with a small child in a single bed suite, is this who you're looking for?” Hongjoong shook his head again. The woman's face dropped. “I'm sorry, is this not who you're looking for? I’m afraid there's only one Park Yunho in this hotel, sir.”

“No, you've done amazing, thank you so much. That's him,” Hongjoong sounded way too excited, and far too hopeful. “Do you think I could have a key?”

“Actually, I can give you his room number, but he'd actually have to come down here with you to pick up another room key. Policy,” she said apologetically. “His room number is 312, though.”

“You're amazing, thank you again,” Hongjoong turned around quickly and walked as fast as he could to the elevators.

Standing alone in the elevator, Hongjoong realized he had no idea what was going to happen when he faced Yunho. Would he be mad? Would he call him creepy for finding him? Hongjoong's heart started to race again, and his heart rate had picked up so many times in the last 10 minutes he was starting to feel lightheaded.

The elevator came to a stop, along with Hongjoong's heart once again. He stepped off, reading the numbers on the doors as they increased on one side on the hallway, and decreased on the other. He walked forward until he'd reached what he was looking for, room 312.

He brought his fist up before dropping it to his side and took a deep breath. Collecting himself, he raised his fist again, knocking once, and then a second time. He could hear rustling on the other side of the door, waiting patiently, but feeling dizzier the longer he waited.

The door swung open and he met Yunho's wide eyes. Yunho wore a shocked expression, before he surged forward and into Hongjoong's arms.

Hongjoong took in a sharp breath, confused beyond words. He hands stayed at his sides as Yunho squeezed him, and he could hear him sniffle near his ear.

“Yunho—”

“I’m sorry,” Yunho interrupted, a sob escaping his lips and Hongjoong's heart broke even more. He brought his arms and squeezed Yunho even closer, afraid that he'd lose him again if he let go. He couldn't even feel sad for himself, the only worry on his mind was Yunho. He couldn't change that fact if he wanted to. “I can explain.”

Hongjoong took a deep breath, burying his face further into Yunho's shoulder and breathing in the familiarity of his cologne. “Please,” he pleaded, willing his own eyes not to fill with tears.

They each took a shaky breath in unison, pulling away and staring each other in the eyes for a few beats. Yunho felt incredibly ashamed, looking down at the ground. Looking into Hongjoong’s eyes only made him feel guiltier. He grabbed Hongjoong's wrist and pulled him into the room.

Hongjoong immediately saw Jiyoo sitting cross legged on the edge of the bed, watching cartoons. She drug her eyes away from the screen, jaw dropping and eyes going wide the second they landed on Hongjoong.

“Hongjoongie!” Jiyoo shrieked, jumping down and squeezing Hongjoong's legs tight.

Hongjoong knelt silently and hugged Jiyoo as tight as he could, a tear rolling down his cheek. His heart was aching. He wasn't sure what was going on, but now that he knew how miserable his life could be without the two of them in it, he never wanted to leave them again. Looking up at Yunho, Hongjoong only saw Yunho's somber expression and he needed answers.

“I missed you sweetheart,” he squeezed Jiyoo tight again, tickling her side lightly as she giggled.

“I missed you even more, Hongjoongie.” Hongjoong didn't know how much more his heart could take before it quite literally shattered and withered away in his chest.

Pulling away, he made eye contact with Yunho and raised his eyebrows. Yunho took the cue; it was time to give some answers. Yunho grabbed his wrist for the second time and Hongjoong followed him into the bathroom. Before walking through the doorway of the hotel room’s bathroom, Hongjoong turned around and looked at Jiyoo who was staring back at him with a confused expression.

“I'll meet you in there,” Hongjoong said, turning back to look at Yunho. Yunho nodded, letting his grip on Hongjoong’s wrist go and shutting the bathroom door behind him as Hongjoong walked toward Jiyoo.

“Hey, Ji,” Hongjoong said softly, picking her up. “Your daddy are gonna have a talk, okay? We won't be gone for long, can you sit out here and watch cartoons for me? Your daddy will be out really, really soon, promise. How's that sound?” He set her down on the bed, smiling down at her as she looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Sure, Hongjoongie,” Jiyoo said, turning her attention to the TV and Hongjoong thanks the heavens for such a cooperative kid.

“Thank you, baby.” Hongjoong kisses her head and turns around to go back to Yunho waiting for him in the bathroom.

Getting closer to the door, Hongjoong thinks he hears whimpers and sharp intakes of breath. He picks up the pace of his steps and swings the bathroom door open. Nothing could've ever prepared him for what he saw when walked into bathroom, his heart feeling like it had finally shattered for good and may never feel the same.

Yunho was sitting on the closed toilet, doubled over and clutching his stomach, taking harsh, short breaths, his whole body shaking. Sobs were coming from his mouth uncontrollably and Hongjoong was sure Yunho would either vomit or pass out from how hard he was crying.

He had never dealt with anyone else's panic attacks, only his own, his heart and mind spiraling into panic to help Yunho. He rushed to Yunho's side, kneeling on the ground next to the toilet and wrapping his arms around Yunho.

“Yunho, hey, hey. You're okay, you're okay,” Hongjoong tried. He took a breath and looked around the bathroom, panicked and trying to find how to help Yunho.

Hongjoong stood up, putting his arm underneath Yunho's knees and lifting him into his arms. It was awkward given their size difference, but Hongjoong liked to think the adrenaline in his veins aided his strength. He sat on the toilet lid and cradled Yunho close to him, rocking him back and forth slowly. Yunho's breathing was still far too erratic and Hongjoong pressed his nose to Yunho's temple.

“You're okay, honey. Breath for me, Yunho.” Hongjoong pulled back, hooking a finger under Yunho's chin so he'd look him in the eyes. He ignored the way his heart lurched at Yunho's puffy eyes and pained expression. His raised his eyebrows and nodded at Yunho, and Yunho rightfully took it as his cue to follow Hongjoong's action. Hongjoong took in a heavy, deep breath, holding it until Yunho followed. Yunho calmed his breathing just enough to take in a deep breath, releasing it just before Hongjoong was about to tell him to, the exhale coming out as a broken sob. His breathing picked up again and Yunho was in full panic. Mind, heart and body. He took quick, wheezing breaths and Hongjoong tried to think fast before Yunho passed out in his arms.

Hongjoong set his hand on Yunho's rapidly moving chest. “I want you to breathe in so your chest is rising with my hand, okay? Keep your chest under my hand.” Hongjoong started slowly raising his hand, and Yunho took in a breath so his chest was consistently in contact with Hongjoong's hand. “One, two, three. Let go.” Hongjoong and Yunho exhaled slowly in unison, eye contact never faltering, Yunho’s exhale significantly shakier than Hongjoong’s.

Once Yunho's breathing was close to normal, he set his head on Hongjoong's shoulder, his forehead against Hongjoong's neck. He cried softly into Hongjoong, and Hongjoong let him, rubbing his back slowly and keeping an eye on Yunho's breathing.

“I'm so sorry, Hongjoong.” Yunho’s sobbing picked up slightly and he pushed his nose into Hongjoong's neck. “I'm so fucking sorry.”

“I'm here. I'm right here, baby. I'm not going anywhere. You're safe.” Hongjoong craned his neck to whisper into Yunho’s ear. Hongjoong wasn't necessarily one for using pet names often on people over the age of six, but he knew names like ‘baby’ and ‘honey’ made Yunho warm and happy, and he was willing to do absolutely anything in this moment to make Yunho feel better.

“I let you down and I'm sorry.”

Hongjoong stood up from the toilet with Yunho in his arms and walked to the large bathroom counter. He set Yunho down softly on the tile counter and set his hands beside each of Yunho's thighs, looking into his eyes. “I'm right here when you're ready to talk about what happened, Yunho.”

Yunho takes a deep, shaky breath, looking into Hongjoong's eyes. He doesn't know where to start.

“I panicked.”

“What did I do?” Hongjoong feels like he's whining.

“Oh, Hongjoong.. I'm so fucking sorry.” Yunho pulls him forward, connecting their foreheads. “You didn't do anything at all. I'm so sorry I made you feel like you did something wrong.” Yunho's breathing starts to pick up again and a soft sob escapes his lips.

Hongjoong lifts his hand and runs his fingers through Yunho's hair, scratching lightly at the back of his head. When Yunho closes his eyes, Hongjoong does so as well. When Yunho's breathing evens out slightly, he speaks again, disconnecting their foreheads to look Hongjoong in the eye.

“I felt horrible. I felt like such a burden to you,” Yunho cries to Hongjoong. “I felt like you didn't want Jiyoo and I there anymore, and I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you in any way. My mind went haywire and I quite literally panicked and ran. I woke Jiyoo up early and we came here. I didn't know what I was doing but at the time it felt like what was best,” Yunho takes in another shaky breath. “I felt even worse after leaving you like that and I couldn't face you or talk to you, that's why I didn't answer my phone. I didn't trust myself to leave my phone alone so I shut it off. I felt so guilty for what I'd done that I didn't even know what to do with myself. I took Jiyoo to and from school today and that's all I've done since I left. I couldn't even go to work today, I called in sick.”

“Yunho—” Hongjoong tried.

“I'm so sorry, Hongjoong.” Yunho starting crying again. Hongjoong wasn't sure what to say.

“I'm not going to pretend like these last two days haven't been the hardest thing I've endured in a while.” Hongjoong hears Yunho mutter a soft _me too _but keeps speaking. “These two days have shown me that I truly need you. What can I do to make you see that? That I need you. Was what I said on the couch to you the other day not enough to make you see?”

“I know, Hongjoong,” Yunho cuts in. “I need you more than you know, I didn't want to leave. It's what my brain was telling me was right and I fucked up big time. I thought I was doing you good and I only ended up hurting you by leaving, I can see that now.”

Hongjoong nods. He wasn't going to interrogate Yunho. Yunho felt bad enough and Hongjoong wanted him happy, that's all he ever wanted. He was just happy to be with them again.

“I can't say I'm sorry enough, Hongjoong.” Yunho leaned forward, reconnecting their foreheads.

“I'm just happy to be back with you both.” Hongjoong exhaled slowly.

Yunho felt Hongjoong's breath against his lips and suddenly all he could think about was how close his own lips were to Hongjoong's. He wanted nothing more than to lean forward and—

Before Yunho could finish his thought, Hongjoong was leaning further into him and connected their lips in a still kiss.

Hongjoong didn't know what came over him, _why did he do that?_ Hongjoong was about to pull away and apologize when he heard Yunho's sharp intake of breath, and he felt Yunho push forward softly. His lips felt like Hongjoong had always imagined, sweet and soft. Like Yunho.

“Oh god,” Hongjoong whispered when they pulled apart. “Yunho, I—”

“Kiss me again.”

“Wha—” Hongjoong tried but was only met with Yunho's lips against his once again.

“You have no idea how long I've waited for this,” Yunho said against Hongjoong’s lips.

“You— what?” Hongjoong pulled away and looked into Yunho's eyes, awestruck.

“You're so oblivious.” Yunho smiled softly at Hongjoong and Hongjoong felt like he had a string around his heart that tightened with the pull of Yunho's lips each time he smiled.

Hongjoong couldn't say anything to that, too completely overjoyed to respond with anything but other kiss to Yunho's addicting lips. Their lips slid perfectly together, just the right amount of push and pull from each of them until they both had to pull back for air. Yunho didn't stop pushing into Hongjoong, pushing their foreheads and noses together as they breathed heavily in each other’s spaces.

They heard a knock on the door and instinctively pulled back from each other.

“Daddy? Hongjoongie?” They heard Jiyoo on the other side. They each let out a breath and looked at each other. Hongjoong tried to read Yunho's expression, sure that Yunho was just as shocked and confused as he was.

“I'll get her,” Yunho said quietly. “Coming baby!” Yunho yelled to Jiyoo, hopping down from the counter and walking past Hongjoong.

When Yunho shut the door, leaving Hongjoong alone in the bathroom, Hongjoong leaned forward, balancing his weight on his hands on the counter. Had he just fucked everything up? He had no idea what had come over him when he kissed Yunho. The thought crossed his mind and before his brain could catch up with his movements, he was kissing him.

He exhaled and his heart rate slowed as his brain slowly wrapped around the fact that Yunho had returned the kiss. Maybe he hadn't fucked up completely.

_Kiss me again. You have no idea how long I've waited for this_, Yunho said.

What did that mean? What had he waited for? Somebody to kiss him? Hongjoong was sure it wasn't what he was hoping, the universe had never worked in his favor like that. He was sure Yunho didn't mean he'd been waiting for Hongjoong to kiss him.

Hongjoong collected his thoughts as best he could, shaking his head and taking a deep breath. Standing up and walking to the door he felt dizzy, like his head couldn't process things at the rate they were happening.

He opened the door to Yunho sitting against the headboard of the bed with Jiyoo in his lap, watching cartoons. Hongjoong walked up to the bed with slow, hesitant steps until Yunho looked up at him and smiled, patting the bed next to him. Hongjoong sat on the bed with his eyes on the TV in front of them, but his focus on what happened in the bathroom and Yunho's warmth next to him.

Hongjoong could see Yunho look at him in the corner of his eye, turning his head and meeting Yunho's wide, unreadable eyes. “What?” Hongjoong asked quietly.

“What now?” Yunho said, even more quiet.

“Now.. I think it's time for you to come home.” Hongjoong waited for Yunho's reaction. He didn't know if what he was asking was too much, he didn't know if Yunho wanted to come back, and truthfully, he wasn't sure Yunho ever wanted to see him again after that moment.

Yunho smiled, small and genuine. His face was flushed pink, from crying Hongjoong thought, and he looked gorgeous. Now that Hongjoong knew the feeling of Yunho's lips against his, it's all he wanted to feel forever. He already felt addicted and that terrified him.

“Home? Are we going back with Hongjoongie?” Jiyoo turned in Yunho's lap to look back and forth between Yunho and Hongjoong.

“I think it's time,” Yunho said with a small smile, eye contact on Hongjoong's face never wavering, even when Hongjoong looked down at Jiyoo.

Hongjoong sat silently on the edge of the bed as Yunho packed up his and Jiyoo's clothes. When they were finished Yunho turned and looked at Hongjoong with a nod and, “Ready?”

“Never been more ready for anything,” Hongjoong looked up at him from the bed before standing up and scooping Jiyoo into his arms. “Are _you_ ready, little missy?” Hongjoong giggled when Jiyoo bounced and nodded in his hold.

When Hongjoong turned his head to look at Yunho, he was smiling fondly at the two of them, eyes full of adoration and Hongjoong's heart didn't feel so suffocated anymore.

It felt full.


End file.
